20?

I'll watch as the heavens turn to fire
Closed eyed and challenging the words,
Short of breath but still clinging to something
Twenty questions to ask the sky
Why do you wish that you were home?
The rain hasn't been so bad.
Washing away everything i wish to forget
Can't blame it.
Why would you wanna fill the ground with pain?
The rain is acid on my skin.
Burning in every memory
Can't blame it.

I'm helpless to the feelings inside
They well up and then, SURPRISE!
I'm fake in all the right places
But my hands are soft
Asking god twenty questions
Why is it we're all alone?
Cause in the end i wanna be loved.
But i know i'll be alone
Can't blame me.
Why is it we're just like you, but fools?
Knowing this will give me peace.
But i hear nothing in my dreams
Can't blame me.

My eyes roll back in my head
The air in my lungs is spent
Short breaths now, i still have something to say
Twenty questions on why i feel this way
Why is it so cold?
When i feel all alone.
Cause i'm afraid of the things in my head
Can't blame me.
Why do i feel so numb?
Death isn't home.
So i'll lay here slowly loosing breath
Cause i can't blame death.
I wouldn't want me either.

Andrew C.

beating a fear of someone elses death...

"Rough Eyes"

Can't pin poin the moment when i felt this bad
Time takes away all i had.
I've been broken, repaired and now i'm failing
Taking my life for granted.
I can't stand.

I've been left in the dust
Body covered and shoved in the freezer.
Outside my grave is being dug
The earth will be my blanket.
And I can't stand it.

Can't pin point a moment in time
When all the things i had were right.
I've been wasted, treated and down the road again
Taking my life for granted.
I can't stand.

I've been coveted and loved,
Hurt and broken,
Wasted and treated.
I can see my end...
And I can't stand it.

But being that I am who I am
Cursed with the gift of man.
Humanity feeds the violence inside my brain
Pushing me to do this all over again.
I can't stand.

Now I can see the fires
My everything burning away.
I hear what she always said now, whispering
"I was the only thing you had"
And i can't stand it.

So watch as my hands bleed
From cuts far beneath the skin.
'Cause i'm ready for this
Ready to give in.
I can finally stand what i've become.

I am my own skin.

Andrew C.

new poem....

"Save me... I'm Giving In"

i need to hear your voice
soothe me into memory
cause the world looks bleak
and i'm sinking in

i need to see your eyes
so i can steal myself away
when everything gets too heavy
and my shoulders feel like lead

come and save me..

i need your touch
the soft feeling on my skin, like silk
cause everything is too much
and i'm sinking in

and when your whispers save me
i come back alive
cause you were always there for me
my angel, never leaving my side

come and save me..

tomorrow seems too far away
and time seems to stand still
i can't see that far ahead
cause tomorrow is always the hardest

no one seems to be alive
walking in the shelter of thier lives
it seems i'm the only one that feels it
broken in on all sides

come and save me...

i need your touch
this shit i go through is too much
and you're my angel
my saving grace

i need your laugh
to fill my heart inside
cause i can feel it turning black
i can feel my feelings die

and when your whispers save me
i come back alive
cause you were always there for me
my angel, never leaving my side

come and save me..
come and save..
come and save me..
before i give in.

Andrew C.