"a look inside"
nothing in me seems new
every feeling is used
the voices in my head say everythings ok
i ask them then why do i feel this way
never knowing when my time is up
i always feel so crushed
bruises turn into scars
my minds not what it used to be
everything is bleak
i'm surrounded by shadows
and every word you speak is a killing blow
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
when the thin clouds seem to disperse
dreary eyed and sleepy, i'll turn
living my nightmares
never my dreams
the rains never seem to cease
so my clouds will never disperse
i'm trapped in my own mind
not letting me out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
till death bed i'll sleep on the couch
the walls and bed feel like prisons
speaking hurtful things in the night
bare walls seem safer
never a story to tell
but as the sun goes down
i still see no sleep
my weary eyes are tired and sore
but my mind races
never tiring out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
Andrew C.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
An update...
well lets see, i should prolly put something relevent on this thing. poetry is good, but if you don't know me then you wouldn't be able to decifer what they are all about.
things have been rocky for me. lots of inner turmoil, fights with my own thoughts. possiblities of losing a job that just isn't worth the bullshit that i have to put up with anyway. umm, lets see, my mothers boyfriend has to close his shop (he owns his own body shop on Quadra) in june cause it's killing him, literally. she's got to find a job and wants me to come over and make up a cover letter for her resume, side note, baby we should go over there and visit soon.
Trista and Eric, my roommates for those who don't know, seem to be doing thier own thing. trista left Wendy's the other day, stupid place is a fucking gong show anyway.
FINGER ELEVEN ON THE 13th, and i get to see them for the first time with the most special person, the most beauftul person i know. it'll be a long trip down there, at least i think so since i don't usually get up until around 1230-1ish, we have to be up and possibly on the bus by 9 in the morning to get there at a half decent time. it should be fun and interesting.
oh how times change. it's almost a year and i can't believe how time flies. we've had our up times and thank god they out number the bad times. i love you and always will. you have been there for me through the worst of times, always having my back when everyone else seems to be giving up on me, i love you for that. i know that it seems like i'm a frustrated, over exposed, self possessed asshole sometimes, at least thats what i feel like and you put up with me still, i will never find another person like you and i'm ever grateful that we have each other. 5 LOOOOONG years of friendship and one SHORT year of relationship, the times have changed and the one constant is you. I LOVE YOU BABY.
i think that might be it. i can't really think of anything else to put on here. it's 8:52 in the am. i've been woken by my teeth again... but thats ok, just means i can acctually enjoy a day.
things have been rocky for me. lots of inner turmoil, fights with my own thoughts. possiblities of losing a job that just isn't worth the bullshit that i have to put up with anyway. umm, lets see, my mothers boyfriend has to close his shop (he owns his own body shop on Quadra) in june cause it's killing him, literally. she's got to find a job and wants me to come over and make up a cover letter for her resume, side note, baby we should go over there and visit soon.
Trista and Eric, my roommates for those who don't know, seem to be doing thier own thing. trista left Wendy's the other day, stupid place is a fucking gong show anyway.
FINGER ELEVEN ON THE 13th, and i get to see them for the first time with the most special person, the most beauftul person i know. it'll be a long trip down there, at least i think so since i don't usually get up until around 1230-1ish, we have to be up and possibly on the bus by 9 in the morning to get there at a half decent time. it should be fun and interesting.
oh how times change. it's almost a year and i can't believe how time flies. we've had our up times and thank god they out number the bad times. i love you and always will. you have been there for me through the worst of times, always having my back when everyone else seems to be giving up on me, i love you for that. i know that it seems like i'm a frustrated, over exposed, self possessed asshole sometimes, at least thats what i feel like and you put up with me still, i will never find another person like you and i'm ever grateful that we have each other. 5 LOOOOONG years of friendship and one SHORT year of relationship, the times have changed and the one constant is you. I LOVE YOU BABY.
i think that might be it. i can't really think of anything else to put on here. it's 8:52 in the am. i've been woken by my teeth again... but thats ok, just means i can acctually enjoy a day.
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