distance is the strongest factor

if i lay here broken on the kitchen floor
swimming in the shit that made my heart sore
breaking down and lying in tears i can't explain
but i know that it's because you're not here
holding me and keeping me safe
wrapped up in your safety
looking into the eyes that set me free

if i lay here broken on the kitchen floor
disenchanted by the looks of things outside
our lives are all up in the air
playing on the clouds like it was a movie for all to see
we lay here broken
feeling nothing but the pain of our loss
we've had things go wrong since the first date
but still here we stand

now give me another shot, place it in my heart
cause this is getting to be too much
i never wanted to fight
so baby, here we go again
the world is throwing all the shit our way
trying to get me to stay away
like we're never supposed to be
but i'm not weak
i can take what they push onto me

i love you baby

Andrew Cedric McCulough

Crying Eyes (Drain All I Have)

Something new for me to see
her eyes captivate me
i fall onto my worn out knees
clutching a heart that seemed to seize
i'm breathless with every words she speaks
down here on hands and knees
i feel my heart bleed for her
i see a tear come to her eye
i only wish she would smile
that would be my sunshine
i can feel her heart beat
steady, only for me
down here on my worn out knees

crying eyes for her
draining all i have for her

we could be perfect,
perfectly mad for each other
my eyes see no other
in crowded rooms with lots of cover
no matter where
i can see you there

crying eyes for me
draining all you have for me

we are perfect,
perfectly mad for each other
our hearts beat for no other
soon our eyes discover
our lasting future together

for all to see
we'll be together soon
living life the way it should be
happy and free
will you come with me?
put all your love and trust in me?
even when i'm on my worn out knees?
we'll fall breathless on our bed
holding each other till passions spent
as our eyes close, letting out dreams flow
i'll be dreaming of you

still crying eyes for you
still draining my all for you

we could be perfect,
perfectly mad for each other
my eyes see no other
in crowded rooms with lots of cover
no matter where
i see you there

still crying eyes out for me
still draining your all for me

we are perfect
perfectly mad for each other
our hearts beat for no other
our eyes soon discouvering
our lasting love and life together
i'd die for her

Andrew Cedric McCullough

this is for my love, the love of my life, my saviour, Steph

Until Tomorrow

A blur of thoughts
this pencil moves
pushed to and far beyond the edge
but i don;t think words can comprehend
all the selfish thoughts in your head
and they move
convulse and bleed
until they become everything you see
now watch as the tempo changes
everything gets flipped
all your words get wasted
night after night
fight after fight
as your body gets drained
you lose it
convulse up all those stupid things
hiding deep inside your brains
it's all the FUCKING same
back and forth with whos to blame
and all the name calling
SHE SCREAMS
HE SCREAMS
watch as the temp changes
as he goes to leave
fed up with all the bullshit
and all the excess baggage that goes with it
so here he goes
he's going to split
but she blocks him
crying for him to stay
she loves him
right now he doesn't care
everything thats wrong is now up in the air
once again watch as the temp changes
a quick movement
a sharp slap
she's on the ground now, crying still
he's gone out the door
once more, gone for the moment
now she's hurt
in more ways then fingers and toes can count
her heart is bleeding
as her eye and cheek swells up
now it's time for her to compose herself
to figure out an excuse for this hell
one that she's willing to sell
for a battered face can only mean so many things
but for him she'd do anything
she loves him
he's driving
pissed off and raging
with all the stupid shit he's thinking
but inside he knows he's bleeding
and the temp changes
everything is forgiven
until tomorrow

Andrew Cedric McCullough

this was written after hearing and watching something that shouldn't have happend

Self Pronounced Epitaph

If i lat here broken
in jungle of steel and glass
who will show a helping hand?
who will play at my funeral?
will the stands be filled?
crying loved ones sharing all thier grief
but only if i can't take it
know please
that i won't fake it
cause i still have my music
D.C.S. and all the rest
to help me through those troubled times
if anyone comes to see me go anyway

if i cut out too early
for pain or this city
just know that no ones changes changed me
try the may to break me
but seceed they will, no
this city in heart shall not be
i'm simple, too simple for this society
so if i lay here broken
in jungle of steel and glass
know ones that i loved and who came
i was never once afraid

Andrew Cedric McCullough

mushroom head lyrics that describe my feelings now

"Save Us"
And its allIve ever wanted to believeThat peace could grow inside of youInspite of me humanityI hope your out there somewhereAll aloneI hear the whole world callingSave us from ourselvesAll alone i hear the angels scream my nameI look thru the eyes of humanityI looked at myselfSo many things i hate in meSo many things are so hard toBelieveI can hear the whole world calling MeUsed to be all that i wantedYou to see all that i needed youTo be does anyone careAbout your fellow manAre you pure enough to hear me out yetAre you sure enoughThat your pure enough to comprehendJust live forgive and forget....

"Embrace The Ending"
The endingThat peace could grow inside of youInspite of meHumanityI hope youre out there somewhereRight now im all aloneI feel my time has comeEmbrace the endingI cannot take this painI cannot take this shameSave us from ourselvesWelcome the way that weEmbrace the endingWe all fool ourselvesAnd we share the wealthTo disagree with meUsed to beAll that i wanted you to seeAll that i needed you to beDoes anyone careTo disagree with meAdmir defeat we bleedIn disbeliefI hear the whole worldAnd its all inspite of meAnd its all i ever wanted to believe

how tables turn

once in a blue moon something good happens

once in a blue moon something awesome happens

today isn't that day

i'm sick of being lost in my own thoughts. i've more stress and unhappiness building in me then anything else. i should be happy, i have a wonderful girl that loves me, she's willing to marry me for christ sake. i have a family that loves me, even if we are disfunctional once in a while. i have friends by the dozen, but it seems that when i need them most i get thrown aside for the flavour of the week.

once in a blue moon something horrible happens
it changes your life for better or worse. it's a learning tool i know this, but why does the tools not help me with the job at hand. being lost in thoughts that can't seem to break away from the bullshit i see and hear everyday.

I've been told that i'm a nice guy, a shy guy even lovable. i've been told that i'm an ass, a bastard, a retard and almost everything else you can say to put someone down. these things don't seem to effect me, but fucking with my life does. all my life this has been happening. i've had ruined birthdays, christmases and all those other days that you're supposed to feel loved, i've been dumped on. so i ask myself, how the hell am i still here? i know that my family and friends will miss me and mourn my passing, if i should have choosen that way to go (and yes i've tried many times and been proven that my friends and family love me, many times). the other question is; why do i stay in places where i am only going to feel this way. self destructive and all that jazz... my memories are burned with all the bad times, never once in my mind can i picture a time in my teens, childhood or other that there hasn't been some sort of destructive force pulling me towards it, trying to capture me and pull me down.

anyway these are just thoughts in my head from a time when i was down.....

ok. so when life gives you lemons you're supposed to make lemon aid right. but what if the lemons are too sour? can you just put more sugar on top and forget whats at the bottom?

i think not. the sugar may cover up whats wrong with your juice but that problem will always be there. but if you feel you can't talk to the sour lemon what do you do, deal? thats a good way to become self destructive. been there done that. life needs to look up and we seem to always be looking down on things. why can't we all just get along... why can't ppl stop. talk. figure shit out, then move the fuck on, why can't ppl just accept things for the way they are and not try to fight it or shove thier beliefs down someone else's throats. i don't know.


anyway i'm leaving now...

Cedric

ok, so i never really thought i'd make a blog, i was one of those ppl that thought it was stupid. but it could also be a great little toy.....

you just never know it could also be the best way for me to tell ppl what i think. how i am. who i am. where i'm from. whats behind me and whats in my future. alls i'm saying is that, this is me. take it or leave it, i am here to stay forever now. or as long as i remember that this thing is here. lol

andrew