ok ok, so i saw my mom today, it was nice. with me being so tired from spending a day with my eyes open so i fell asleep during the visit, missed two movies.

i got a final call from joey's only, i now work in the kitchen

i have this nagging feeling that i should open up my deck door. look over it at the cement and throw myself off. like no matter what i do it's not "up to par" with what everyone thinks i should be doing. i miss steph like you wouldn't believe. i may not be able to get to nanaimo for her birthday and that is killing me. i feel sick to my stomach. my mind feels like it's rotting away in my skull. the thoughts i'm thinking arn't what should be there. i havn't felt this way since highschool. if the breakin point of all i've ever done comes too soon, i think i'm going to crack again. it's funny if you think about it, i can be happy in a second and in another be the person everyone hates because he's grown silent. lost in this thoughts of how to get away from everything and just figure shit out. i wish i could just figure shit out.

i love you baby