i guess i should update this thing shouldn't i. well it's easter. another holiday for ppl who love holidays. another day for children to get wasted on sugar and run around like lunatics. i hate holidays. but on the other hand today is the celebration of a greater day then any other in my mind. today we celebrated our 1 year (although it's next month on the 14th). we made it that far......
so what else is new with me... hmmm, let me see. i'm in nanaimo at the moment if the first part of this didn't click in and tell you that. i've been here for at least two days thus far and it's been the best two days of my life. with all the happiness i feel i can't help but think of whats going on back home in CR. i know for a fact that when i return summer hours for joey's only will be starting and i will be working 6 days a week for 4 hours. getting paid only 8 an hr. boss doesn't pay me enough for this shit.
i was talking with one of my relatives today. he told me something that made me kinda of think about who i was, and where i would be if it weren't for steph. one of my cousins, whos no more then 15 O.Ded on a cocktail of perscription drugs, i guess she's fine and all only having to stay in the hospital and prolly got her stomach pumped. but if she could do that on perscription drugs what would have happend to me if i got into the "real" drugs more then i was. would i have been so lucky as to survive such an ordeal? would there have been people there that could help me get to a hospital? would they even care to do that much?. as for who i was, i definatly wasn't myself. i spent most of my time in my house, MY ROOM to be exact, smoking dope or dropping this pill down my throat and sticking the powder from this pill up my nose. i'll say this in my defense tho, it's been almost 2 years since the last time i took a pill. in any way. i almost lost so many of my ol' highschool friends cause i changed into someone that just didn't care anymore as long as i had that magic pill. it took steph getting pissed off at me and not talking to me for a few months to make me realize what i was doing. i was ruining myself and my relationship with all those that i really cared about. so i stopped, moved away from where i was living and now i have to deal with the fact that sooner or later one of my family could follow me in my footsteps, well not in the most direct way tho.
anyway this is depressing me and today is supposed to be a happy day so i think i'm going to leave here and run into the arms of my beautiful angel. i love you baby
A.C.M.
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