have you ever felt that everything you do is out of control? that no matter how right you try to make things, it just won't work? that your heart is gone?
right now. i feel all of them. plus the feeling that there is something missing more then just my heart. my happiness has been pretty much no-existant for the last few days. i've rarely smiled. but i should be happy right? i mean 14 years and a sister finds me. i have the most beautiful girlfriend an idiot, foolish man like me could ever ask for... so why can't i smile? why does it feel like i'm alone, forever alone.
i have a doobie sitting an staring at me. calling me to smoke it, but even as addicted to pot as i am, i don't want it. it seems that that "drug" is the only way to make me smile in the present moments of the last few days. so why won't i smoke it?
someone save me...
from myself.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
another one bites the dust....
just wanted to say congrats to my big brother and his fiance, they had a beautiful baby girl, 7 pounds 10 onces. Cira Madison Chute... welcome to the fucked up world you'll call home.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
a new one.
"Amen"
a trusting hand,
too calm in the grasp.
as it pulls on me,
pulling me away.
and in between the cliff's rocks i see
i see everything i once believed.
hanging where i once was.
bleeding out what I've done.
a lie in the truth,
i can see it hurt.
but what am i to do,
the bloods been spilt.
and when i go to where i belong I'll see
I'll see everything that meant something to me.
hanging where i once was.
bleeding out what I've done.
can't i be complete?
can't everyone, just for once,
believe in me?
I've got no one on my side,
only my enemies.
waiting for the day i fail to see,
see everything i believed.
hanging where i once was.
bleeding out what I've done.
and heaven's gates open.
amen.
i can hear the angels sing.
amen.
I'm home again...
amen.
waiting for the day i see.
i see everything i believed.
replace the rest of me.
once again making me complete.
and all I've done...
forgiven...
amen.
Andrew c
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
two new things, one is weird.
the first:
"Crashing Down"
good bye to all i had,
i'm crying blood as i crash.
my veins feel my pain,
as another needle gets pushed deeper in.
now watch me break down,
watch as tears stream down my face.
good bye to all my happiness,
i thought that this time it would last.
i guess i was wrong,
but how long has this loss been giving in.
now watch me break down,
my senses have been long gone.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
no more words of comfort,
no more words of praise.
good by to everyone i loved,
this heart carries you no longer.
cause my mind has gone from me,
ran away when you left.
now watch me break down,
watch as tears stream down my face.
good bye to you and all your feelings,
i need them like a hole in the head.
but i never thought it could be this easy,
saying that you never loved me.
go ahead and use me then,
i'm free to distribute.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
no more words of comfort,
no more words of praise.
i'm sick of all your things,
of all the leavings you throw from the table.
i'm sick of all that you were,
and soon i'll be sick of all that you are.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
the second:
"Last Words"
treasured love of nothing's feeling
a numbness deep inside is comforting.
but trust lies and truth is forgotten,
when thunder sounds and lighting hits.
bow down, bow down.
in forever's hollow gaze
but fearful of nothing standing in my way
i walked a long road and now i'm home
but home was forgotten
restless spirit...
and if life rots away from my bones.
let the bugs feast on what skin is left,
cause i found home in eternal sleep.
breathe deep the smell of ocean air
as sunrise hits the sky
watch red flare through the blue
and remember of things lost.
home is paradise... lost
fires burn high
and laughter rings out with screams of pain
the pits of hell seem clear to me
no vision like this could be a dream
no dream like this could be real.
and as life rots away from me bones
let the bugs feast on what skin is left
cause i found home in eternal sleep
i found a place to rest
deep scars run across my back
hell's angel's strapped to my kneck
their bidding be done
my soul has been won
the devil beat my dice.
and as life rots away from my bones.
let the bugs feast on what skin is left.
cause i found home in eternal sleep.
i found a place to rest.
Andrew C. McCullough
"Crashing Down"
good bye to all i had,
i'm crying blood as i crash.
my veins feel my pain,
as another needle gets pushed deeper in.
now watch me break down,
watch as tears stream down my face.
good bye to all my happiness,
i thought that this time it would last.
i guess i was wrong,
but how long has this loss been giving in.
now watch me break down,
my senses have been long gone.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
no more words of comfort,
no more words of praise.
good by to everyone i loved,
this heart carries you no longer.
cause my mind has gone from me,
ran away when you left.
now watch me break down,
watch as tears stream down my face.
good bye to you and all your feelings,
i need them like a hole in the head.
but i never thought it could be this easy,
saying that you never loved me.
go ahead and use me then,
i'm free to distribute.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
no more words of comfort,
no more words of praise.
i'm sick of all your things,
of all the leavings you throw from the table.
i'm sick of all that you were,
and soon i'll be sick of all that you are.
treat this as a good bye,
cause thats all i have to say.
the second:
"Last Words"
treasured love of nothing's feeling
a numbness deep inside is comforting.
but trust lies and truth is forgotten,
when thunder sounds and lighting hits.
bow down, bow down.
in forever's hollow gaze
but fearful of nothing standing in my way
i walked a long road and now i'm home
but home was forgotten
restless spirit...
and if life rots away from my bones.
let the bugs feast on what skin is left,
cause i found home in eternal sleep.
breathe deep the smell of ocean air
as sunrise hits the sky
watch red flare through the blue
and remember of things lost.
home is paradise... lost
fires burn high
and laughter rings out with screams of pain
the pits of hell seem clear to me
no vision like this could be a dream
no dream like this could be real.
and as life rots away from me bones
let the bugs feast on what skin is left
cause i found home in eternal sleep
i found a place to rest
deep scars run across my back
hell's angel's strapped to my kneck
their bidding be done
my soul has been won
the devil beat my dice.
and as life rots away from my bones.
let the bugs feast on what skin is left.
cause i found home in eternal sleep.
i found a place to rest.
Andrew C. McCullough
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
my dream after moving to nanaimo...
Technical Info
Model Name: Standard Precision Bass� (Upgrade)
Model Number: 013-6100-(Color #)
Series: Standard Series
Colors:
(306) Black
(325) Chrome Red
(332)* Brown Sunburst
(375) Midnight Wine
(380) Arctic White
(387) Electron Blue
(Polyester Finish)
Body: Alder
Neck: Maple, Modern ?C? Shape,(Satin Polyurethane Finish)
Fingerboard: Rosewood, 9.5 in. Radius (241mm)
No. of Frets: 20 Medium Jumbo Frets
Pickups: 1 Standard Precision Bass Split Single-Coil Pickup (Mid)
Controls: Volume, Tone
Pickup Switching: None
Bridge: Standard Vintage Style
Machine Heads: Standard
Hardware: Chrome
Pickguard: 3-Ply White
Scale Length: 34 in. (864 mm)
Width at Nut: 1.625 in. (41.3 mm)
Unique Features: "New" Knurled Chrome P Bass Knobs
Strings: Fender Super Bass 7250ML, NPS, Gauges: (.045, .065, .080, .100)
Accessories: Standard Gig Bag
Case: None
COST:$424.95 - $607.12
Friday, June 22, 2007
watch this:
here we go. again. i'm falling.
taking everything i love down with me.
i'm just another being falling.
watch this:
as i catch up to my dreams in this fall.
here we go. again. i'm sleeping.
taking everything into account.
watch this one:
NO! i won't let go.
and NO! i'll scream if i want to.
so just GO! i'll meet you in hell.
Andrew C.
here we go. again. i'm falling.
taking everything i love down with me.
i'm just another being falling.
watch this:
as i catch up to my dreams in this fall.
here we go. again. i'm sleeping.
taking everything into account.
watch this one:
NO! i won't let go.
and NO! i'll scream if i want to.
so just GO! i'll meet you in hell.
Andrew C.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
"when you're gone" by the cranberries.
"When you're gone"
Hold onto love that is what i do now that i've found you.
And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you.
And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, Sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when i'm not around you.
But i'll miss you when you're gone, that is what i do, hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what i do. hey, baby...
Hold onto my hands, i feel i'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everythings stinking, stinking without you.
And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
theres nothing simple, when i'm not around you.
but i'll miss you when you're gone, that is what i do. hey, baby!
and it's going to carry on, that is what i do. Hey, baby...
first song i ever heard by them, and now that i have someone that the song reminds me of, i love it that much more.
A.
p.s. i would put the video on to, but i'm apparently not blogged up enough to know how... lol
Hold onto love that is what i do now that i've found you.
And from above everything's stinking, they're not around you.
And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, Sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when i'm not around you.
But i'll miss you when you're gone, that is what i do, hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what i do. hey, baby...
Hold onto my hands, i feel i'm sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everythings stinking, stinking without you.
And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
theres nothing simple, when i'm not around you.
but i'll miss you when you're gone, that is what i do. hey, baby!
and it's going to carry on, that is what i do. Hey, baby...
first song i ever heard by them, and now that i have someone that the song reminds me of, i love it that much more.
A.
p.s. i would put the video on to, but i'm apparently not blogged up enough to know how... lol
Monday, June 18, 2007
numb
ok so last post you got the lyrics for my favorite song by I Mother Earth, you also got the video for it thanks to steph. love you baby. well this is the poem that was inspired by the song. NOTE: the poem contains some of the lyrics from the song.
"Numb"
I close my eyes to my everyday
As the sun comes crashing down.
And all I wish I had was...
A home.
But when it's all undone,
Could I have been the one
To trust myself with a knife
As I cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
Here lies the former
Her life is spent
She cried her heart out onto her sleeve
And I took it in my hand,
Gave it a squeeze
As I cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
I close my eyes to my everyday
Just as the moon drifts away
And all I wish I had was...
A friend
But when I lose the days
In moments when i'm gone
To trust another with a knife
I come crashing down.
I'm compleltly numb.
Here lies the changed
Crumpled on the floor in pain
Tears run down his face.
Cause he has been replaced.
And they took him in their hands
Cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
And i'm so unwound.
I know in my own way i'm breakin' down
Without screaming out loud
I'm facing up... and reaching out
In the end i'll come around
So shut your mouth!
Cause ii can't stand or yell out
I'm completly numb
But as I stand on the future
A chasm in which I can dive.
All I wish I had was...
Understanding
But when it's all but too late.
And other live are now at stake.
I trust no other with my blade,
Cause i'm completly numb.
Andrew C.
Like i said, i love the song.
"Numb"
I close my eyes to my everyday
As the sun comes crashing down.
And all I wish I had was...
A home.
But when it's all undone,
Could I have been the one
To trust myself with a knife
As I cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
Here lies the former
Her life is spent
She cried her heart out onto her sleeve
And I took it in my hand,
Gave it a squeeze
As I cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
I close my eyes to my everyday
Just as the moon drifts away
And all I wish I had was...
A friend
But when I lose the days
In moments when i'm gone
To trust another with a knife
I come crashing down.
I'm compleltly numb.
Here lies the changed
Crumpled on the floor in pain
Tears run down his face.
Cause he has been replaced.
And they took him in their hands
Cut away another life.
I'm completly numb.
And i'm so unwound.
I know in my own way i'm breakin' down
Without screaming out loud
I'm facing up... and reaching out
In the end i'll come around
So shut your mouth!
Cause ii can't stand or yell out
I'm completly numb
But as I stand on the future
A chasm in which I can dive.
All I wish I had was...
Understanding
But when it's all but too late.
And other live are now at stake.
I trust no other with my blade,
Cause i'm completly numb.
Andrew C.
Like i said, i love the song.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
.... mhm... ok so i think i should update.... LIFE IS LIFE... thats about all i can think of. happy i got the WHOLE i mother earth discography. work is taking most of my life away so i got nothing really to say. i love you baby, as always, but i think i'll keep saying it.. mwahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA stupid fucking caps. i'm obviously bored and ranting. should be working on my story, which btw is coming along nicely, want an update just ask.
now to finish this little what-cha-ma-call-it some lyrics from I mother Earth... and if possible... a video? awwwwwwwwwwwww.
A.
"No Coma"
In time I'll find why everyone out there
In the painted sun
Has already found their root...they've found home
And I'm tired of beating every drum
For old friends that never come
Went looking for them once...and found none
I'm so unwound
And I know in my own way
I'm breaking down without screaming out loud
I'm facing up and reaching out
In the end I'll come around so shut your mouth
Cuz I can't stand or yell out...
Tell everyone I'm numb
Here lies the former undisturbed
A bit high and a candle burns
It's goin all south...it's all gone
A red face that hides in nervous hands
Once a better friend than an enemy
Will I make another run...or am I done
Someday I'll line up everyone out there
In a late day sun
For one deep and final breath...
now to see if i can get a video... mwahhahahahahahaha
Edit: Apparently Not!?!
now to finish this little what-cha-ma-call-it some lyrics from I mother Earth... and if possible... a video? awwwwwwwwwwwww.
A.
"No Coma"
In time I'll find why everyone out there
In the painted sun
Has already found their root...they've found home
And I'm tired of beating every drum
For old friends that never come
Went looking for them once...and found none
I'm so unwound
And I know in my own way
I'm breaking down without screaming out loud
I'm facing up and reaching out
In the end I'll come around so shut your mouth
Cuz I can't stand or yell out...
Tell everyone I'm numb
Here lies the former undisturbed
A bit high and a candle burns
It's goin all south...it's all gone
A red face that hides in nervous hands
Once a better friend than an enemy
Will I make another run...or am I done
Someday I'll line up everyone out there
In a late day sun
For one deep and final breath...
now to see if i can get a video... mwahhahahahahahaha
Edit: Apparently Not!?!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Heart release me...
"End the Pain."
blankly staring as my eyes leak
chin quivering, teeth chattering
i try to speak.
but no words come out,
sour adjectives pile inside my mouth
making thoughts hard to see.
as you stand idly by
always laughing at me
eyes burning deep with vengence,
but i know not what i did.
so heres another apology,
please end the pain.
i'm sorry for all i've done to you.
i'll try not to feel again.
and if forgiveness is what you give,
please rain it on my head.
cause the pain is so harsh you see,
and i'm praying to be dead.
long legs carry me to my dark place,
fear written on my face.
i clawed my way to this great point,
to run away again.
with face hidden deep in a hood,
my tears rain down my face.
another long apology
for all i've ever done.
i wasn't what you wanted.
but cry no tears,
please have some joy.
your freedom is held in hand,
i'm sorry for your bother.
so to borrow words from and idol.
from one of his songs,
filled with sorrow.
"you don't need to bother;
i don't need to be
i'll keep slipping farther
but once i hold on,
i won't let go till it bleeds"
so another long apology.
i'm sorry for being me.
thers nothing left to hide,
no feelings left inside.
so again to borrow some more words.
"i'm out this bitch,
theres nothing left for me here."
and i'm gone away.
blankly staring as my eyes leak
chin quivering, teeth chattering
i try to speak.
but no words come out,
sour adjectives pile inside my mouth
making thoughts hard to see.
as you stand idly by
always laughing at me
eyes burning deep with vengence,
but i know not what i did.
so heres another apology,
please end the pain.
i'm sorry for all i've done to you.
i'll try not to feel again.
and if forgiveness is what you give,
please rain it on my head.
cause the pain is so harsh you see,
and i'm praying to be dead.
long legs carry me to my dark place,
fear written on my face.
i clawed my way to this great point,
to run away again.
with face hidden deep in a hood,
my tears rain down my face.
another long apology
for all i've ever done.
i wasn't what you wanted.
but cry no tears,
please have some joy.
your freedom is held in hand,
i'm sorry for your bother.
so to borrow words from and idol.
from one of his songs,
filled with sorrow.
"you don't need to bother;
i don't need to be
i'll keep slipping farther
but once i hold on,
i won't let go till it bleeds"
so another long apology.
i'm sorry for being me.
thers nothing left to hide,
no feelings left inside.
so again to borrow some more words.
"i'm out this bitch,
theres nothing left for me here."
and i'm gone away.
Monday, May 28, 2007
well it's 820 in the morning on a monday. i have work at 4 and i woke up at 630 or something like that, but it's ok... i don't mind. life seems to be going ok for me. work is bullshit, but then again, thats why it's called work. SEAN GOT A JOB WITH ME, i think that's so awesome. i swill populate joey's with my friends, MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHa. the story, which has upsates on here, which i have to do again, is coming along. although i'm finding it hard to write at the moment. i miss you baby. other then that, i can't really think of anything to post on here... so i'm outs.
wait heres some lyrics for ya:
"nothings left" by the Insane Clown Posse
man... i love you guys
man shut the fuck up man. why you always gotta ruin the moment?
man fuck you.
AIN'T NUTTHING HERE LEFT FOR ME, SO I'M OUT THIS BITCH
FUCK STAYIN' HERE. I'M BUSTING THE FUCK OUT NOW
WE OUT THIS MUTHA FUCKA RIGHT NOW
theres no story that aint been told
theres no gimmick that ain't been sold
theres no ocen that never been swam
thats no jobber that aint been slammed
theres no road that aint been traveled
theres no doctor that aint been baffled
aint no thug that never cried
aint no preacher that never lied
thats no rumor that aint been passed
aint no question no ones asked
theres no tree that won't get chopped
theres no bomb that won't get dropped
aint no pth that no ones laid
aint no bead that aint been afraid
theres no feat that no one can
theres no saga that never began
aint no snow that didn't melt
theres no punch that aint been felt
theres no skill that no ones learned
theres no planet that he ain't turned
theres no view that never dissolved
theres no problem that aint been solved
theres no tale that no ones told
theres no beauty that won't get old
theres no garden the sun ain't beamed on
theres no shoulder that ain't been leaned on
theres no colour that ain't been seen
purple red yellow blue forest green
theres no desert that ain't seen rain
nobody here that ain't felt pain
there no bigot that aint been clowned
theres no treasure that ain't found
ain't no cave they never explored
ain't no mother that ain't been ignored
theres no leader that ain't been lead
theres no blood that ain't been shed
theres no dish they never made
ain't no brick they never laid
everything left's been done before
nothings new, nowhere to explore
on the day when the wagon's come i just pray you let me on {7x}
won't you let me on, won't you let me on, won't you let me on.....
hey jake jeckel fly twist and spin to the other side {9x}
on the day when the waggon's come i just pray that you let me on
won't you let me on, won't you let me on...
(written by shaggy 2 dope and violent j)
wait heres some lyrics for ya:
"nothings left" by the Insane Clown Posse
man... i love you guys
man shut the fuck up man. why you always gotta ruin the moment?
man fuck you.
AIN'T NUTTHING HERE LEFT FOR ME, SO I'M OUT THIS BITCH
FUCK STAYIN' HERE. I'M BUSTING THE FUCK OUT NOW
WE OUT THIS MUTHA FUCKA RIGHT NOW
theres no story that aint been told
theres no gimmick that ain't been sold
theres no ocen that never been swam
thats no jobber that aint been slammed
theres no road that aint been traveled
theres no doctor that aint been baffled
aint no thug that never cried
aint no preacher that never lied
thats no rumor that aint been passed
aint no question no ones asked
theres no tree that won't get chopped
theres no bomb that won't get dropped
aint no pth that no ones laid
aint no bead that aint been afraid
theres no feat that no one can
theres no saga that never began
aint no snow that didn't melt
theres no punch that aint been felt
theres no skill that no ones learned
theres no planet that he ain't turned
theres no view that never dissolved
theres no problem that aint been solved
theres no tale that no ones told
theres no beauty that won't get old
theres no garden the sun ain't beamed on
theres no shoulder that ain't been leaned on
theres no colour that ain't been seen
purple red yellow blue forest green
theres no desert that ain't seen rain
nobody here that ain't felt pain
there no bigot that aint been clowned
theres no treasure that ain't found
ain't no cave they never explored
ain't no mother that ain't been ignored
theres no leader that ain't been lead
theres no blood that ain't been shed
theres no dish they never made
ain't no brick they never laid
everything left's been done before
nothings new, nowhere to explore
on the day when the wagon's come i just pray you let me on {7x}
won't you let me on, won't you let me on, won't you let me on.....
hey jake jeckel fly twist and spin to the other side {9x}
on the day when the waggon's come i just pray that you let me on
won't you let me on, won't you let me on...
(written by shaggy 2 dope and violent j)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
chapters 7-11
**7**
**The Third Pool**
The third and final pool of dispair came quicker then we thought it would, steppin out of the second pools chamber and into the third pools. destynie once again went straight to the runes carved in the wall, glowly as faintly as the runes we first saw in the door frame of the entrance to the ruins. Malinik and I went to the pool and looked inside. like the other two the water was once again a different colour. no souls swam in this pool though, as we looked in we saw they were chained to the bottom. millions of chains holding millions of souls in place, never letting them know freedom.
"this pool is for those that were lost and forgotten, loss of freedom chaining them to the floor of the pools, never letting them go" destynie read this, a small quiver in her voice betraying her feelings. she felt for these souls as i did, knowing full well what it was like to lose your freedom. Malinik continued to stare into the pool, a queer smile forming on his lips.
"why are you smiling at thier pain?" i asked him, growing angry as his smile widend on his face.
"you feel for thier pain" he said "i do not, they let thier dispair get the better of them... that is why they are in the pools and we are not. we have a higher purpose"
"how do you figure?" this time it was Destynie asking the question.
"To see, if you will, is to believe... we are here, not in the pools with them" his answer made his smile grow even wider.
"drop the smile..." anger growing to a breakin point inside me "or so help me i'll knock it off your face"
"you were chained weren't you Debraxi" those words coming out of his mouth through me off my guard. " i can see it in your eyes as you look into the pools, you were chained, beaten and no offense meant, to either of you, but my guess would be raped."
"enough!" Destynie yelled, her voice booming in the empty chamber. "we were, alright?, are you happy now?"
"no" he said "but you must not get angry at me, i never meant offense... these souls are like us. but unlike us, these poor souls fell into thier dispair, there is nothing we can do to make it better for them... the gods played thier game and they won. these souls are lost"
with a quick move of my right arm Malinik was down on the ground, holding his chin. "I told you i would knock it off your face" i said, turning and walking out the door..Destynie following quickly, Malinik, after picking himself up, brought up the rear.
**8**
**The Gates To Hell**
Another mile or so into the ruins we saw light, dimly, at the end of the corridor. picking up our pace we found the source of the light, and opening leading to the outside world again. slowly peeking around the openings corner for anything that might be standing waiting we crept outside. breathing the air hurt our lungs, after what seemed like days in the dark and dust. As i took a look at our surroundings i noticed a trail leading to the south, trees growing around it, thier branches making a canopy around the trail.
"looks like thats the only way out of here" i told the others as i headed over to the tree line "to the east looks like a cliff, maybe a river, to the north and west the woods we seem to have by passed by going into those ruins"
"so Hell leads the way for us, eh" Malinik said "so much for the choice..."
"the choice?" Destynie asked him
"Yea, it was told in my village that if you die you get the choice of where you belong, heaven or hell" he said
"what about your past expierences?" destynie asked him again "don't they have anything to do with it?"
"apparently so" Malinik said "but... if we are to choose to serve in this army hell seems to want us for, as Debrazi said, then what happens?"
"I don't know..."
"neither do i" malinik said, a giggle in his voice.
we walked on the trial, through the last portion of the Forgotten Woods. At the end of the trail was a great gate, demons adorned it from side to side. the colour like blood, like the gate was painted in it before being erected. as we approached the gate one of the demons adoring it's sides awoke and raised it's eyes to us. with a wicked smile it opened it's mouth as if to speak.
"Debraxssi.....Desstynie.... and Malinikss, Hell has played your roll, the dice have been cast against the walls of fate. You have vengful hearts. you have vengful deaths. Hell has a place for you...." it said, it's voice slurring and like a snakes hiss. "welcomesss... Home"
At this the gates opened and the fires of hell could be seem in the distance. screams from those that refuse to fight for the demon's king rang out loud and rattled the tree branches. ever so slowly i took the lead and walked through the gate, followed closely by destynie and malinik. as we stepped through our skin began to burn, i looked down at my hands and saw the flesh slowly burn away reavealing a layer of muscle and finally bone. looking back at destynie and malinik i saw that the same was happening to them. we collapsed into a heap of our own bones and the lights went out...
Awoken by a scream off in the distance, i opened my eyes and saw the through the darkness as if it were day. i sat up on the edge of the bed i was lying in, looked around and noticed that there was two other people lying in similar beds across the room. i tried to get up and walk to the door, but quickly fell, my legs not able to carry my weight. suddenly the door opened and in walk a demon, in his hands i could see a try of food. He walked into the room, looked around, saw the other two were still knocked out or sleeping then noticed me sitting up in my bed. he walked over to me and sat the tray down on the table next to where my head would be if i layed back down, pulled a chair out from under a desk a few feet away and sat down.
"good morning, Debraxi of the human alliances." he said "you have travelled a long way, and have brought us two more that we thought were lost to us"
`"wh.. whe... where am i?" i asked "where is Destynie and Malinik?"
"why they are right over there" he said, pointing to the other two bodies in the room.
"are they ok?" i asked him, still dazed and not fully aware.
"of course, hell takes care of thier own" he said with a laugh "now eat, your king awaits to greet you, you must be strong"
saying what he needed and doing as he was order he got up, returned the chair to it's original position and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
**9**
**The Dead Born Again, Body Born Anew**
i slowly ate the food the demon brought in, although it looked as if it had come from those that the screams belonged to. As i ate i thought about the walk through the Forgotten lands, the Ruins, finding Destynie and Malinik. all of it seemed a little too destined, like i was supposed to go through this. a movement in the corner of my eye broke my train of thought, i looked over and saw Malinik waking up, his body no longer bones but born again with white skin, adorned by tattooes all over. next to him Destynie was sitting up, how long she had been awake was unknown to me. Her skin too was born again in a dead white colour. the tattooes on her skin more like runes drawn by a patient hand all over her body. her eyes had a slight glow to them, like the runes we found carved into the ruins walls. I motioned them to come over, if they could, so we could talk a little before heading to see the king of the lands of Hell. but before they could manage to even say a word, once again the door swung open. two demons dressed in elegant armor marched in, followed by three others bearing clothing and armor.
"Destynie, you will wear these" the first of the two bearing our new clothing said as he handed Destynie her clothing.
"Malinik, you will wear these" the second said handing the clothing to him.
"Debraxi, You will wear this" the first said to me, he then turned and walked out of the room, returning with a set of armor.
"your places have been set, the king awaits" the second said and retreated out of the room followed by the first demon.
we changed from our death clothes into our new clothing. Destynie adorned in leather, barely covering her body. spikes and runes adorned her clothing, with it came a book.
"whats the book for?" i asked her
"i don't know" she said " if i'm reading these runes right, it's a spell book for Necro'trulic's... whatever those are"
Malinik walked out and looked us over. i looked at his armor, it seemd to be made of human flesh. scars could be seen torn into it, stitches tieing it together. clipped to his side and back were a bow and a quiver filled with arrows, the quiver itself looked as if it were made from the same material as his armor. held in the crook of his arm was his helmet, designed to strike fear into his opponents. the helmet, made from living tissue, remebled the demons that came in the room and gave us our clothing. strapped to his right side was a sword.
"and just what are you supposed to be?" i asked him, looking him up and down, for the first time letting my attraction show
"i don't know" he answered me "but maybe we should find out"
"i think you're right" i said and moved toward the door, but before i could reach the handle and turn it, once again it swung open, almost knocking me flat on my ass. in through the opening came a demon woman dressed in an elegant statin dress. the colour shone bright, blood red, almost blinding us through the darkness.
"you will follow me" she said and turned to leave out the door she has just walked through, we followed...
**10**
**The Demon King**
we walked behind the mysterious demon woman, through crowded corridors and chambers, finally coming to a stop before a great door.
"through this door is the demon king" she told us, turning to face us as she motioned for the doors to be opened "be careful what you say. you're places have been set"
with that said she bowed and walked away.
we walked through the doors and into a the biggest chamber we've seen in the castle so far. far ahead of us and dead in the middle of the room rose a great chair. skeleton bones seemingly crawling all over the chair itself, it's ocupant smiling cruely as we walked closer to it. once we had walked a fair distance our knees began to buckle underneath of our weight, we each in turn fell to one knee and bowed our heads down.
"these walls pay tribute to me" the demon sitting on the throne said "you have been played, tested, desserted and still you come forward, you're places have been set in this army of mine, the army of hell. I am Luferius, king of the seventh gate of hell and your new master. Destynie, come forward" she did as told without hesitation, "you have transformed yourself from huntress, misunderstood by your own people, letting your rage and hatred for this wrong doing feed your vengence, hell has made you a Necro-Trulic, you can raise any dead to fight your battles for you. that book you carry will teach you how, i suggest you read it. it can teach you more then i can, Malinik, step forward" as did Destynie, Malinik too stood and stepped forward, "diseased blood elf, hunted by your own kind, betrayer to your old king, you are now a Rang'tuk, the screams you hear adorn your skin in the form of your human flesh armor. your bow and sword make you quicker. you will be an asset to us here in hell. Debraxi, Step forward." i stood, looked about and stepped up beside my companions "You, of the three of you, you have had the most punishment for your crime against yourself, your family and your king. YOU alone torture yourself for what happen in your past life. in doing this you have Transformed yourself into one of the highest honored soldiers of Hell's High army. You are a Demon High Templar night. as far as i know the only one. you're armor, made from the scales of a hell dragon will protect you, your sword will feed on your victims souls, feeding them in turn into your heart. you will live with your pain for the rest of your life. although you travelled here together, this is where you part. Hell has a design for you, good bye for now"
as he said his good byes light came down, forming circles around us and we fell to the floor again.
**11**
**The Passing Of Years**
**The Third Pool**
The third and final pool of dispair came quicker then we thought it would, steppin out of the second pools chamber and into the third pools. destynie once again went straight to the runes carved in the wall, glowly as faintly as the runes we first saw in the door frame of the entrance to the ruins. Malinik and I went to the pool and looked inside. like the other two the water was once again a different colour. no souls swam in this pool though, as we looked in we saw they were chained to the bottom. millions of chains holding millions of souls in place, never letting them know freedom.
"this pool is for those that were lost and forgotten, loss of freedom chaining them to the floor of the pools, never letting them go" destynie read this, a small quiver in her voice betraying her feelings. she felt for these souls as i did, knowing full well what it was like to lose your freedom. Malinik continued to stare into the pool, a queer smile forming on his lips.
"why are you smiling at thier pain?" i asked him, growing angry as his smile widend on his face.
"you feel for thier pain" he said "i do not, they let thier dispair get the better of them... that is why they are in the pools and we are not. we have a higher purpose"
"how do you figure?" this time it was Destynie asking the question.
"To see, if you will, is to believe... we are here, not in the pools with them" his answer made his smile grow even wider.
"drop the smile..." anger growing to a breakin point inside me "or so help me i'll knock it off your face"
"you were chained weren't you Debraxi" those words coming out of his mouth through me off my guard. " i can see it in your eyes as you look into the pools, you were chained, beaten and no offense meant, to either of you, but my guess would be raped."
"enough!" Destynie yelled, her voice booming in the empty chamber. "we were, alright?, are you happy now?"
"no" he said "but you must not get angry at me, i never meant offense... these souls are like us. but unlike us, these poor souls fell into thier dispair, there is nothing we can do to make it better for them... the gods played thier game and they won. these souls are lost"
with a quick move of my right arm Malinik was down on the ground, holding his chin. "I told you i would knock it off your face" i said, turning and walking out the door..Destynie following quickly, Malinik, after picking himself up, brought up the rear.
**8**
**The Gates To Hell**
Another mile or so into the ruins we saw light, dimly, at the end of the corridor. picking up our pace we found the source of the light, and opening leading to the outside world again. slowly peeking around the openings corner for anything that might be standing waiting we crept outside. breathing the air hurt our lungs, after what seemed like days in the dark and dust. As i took a look at our surroundings i noticed a trail leading to the south, trees growing around it, thier branches making a canopy around the trail.
"looks like thats the only way out of here" i told the others as i headed over to the tree line "to the east looks like a cliff, maybe a river, to the north and west the woods we seem to have by passed by going into those ruins"
"so Hell leads the way for us, eh" Malinik said "so much for the choice..."
"the choice?" Destynie asked him
"Yea, it was told in my village that if you die you get the choice of where you belong, heaven or hell" he said
"what about your past expierences?" destynie asked him again "don't they have anything to do with it?"
"apparently so" Malinik said "but... if we are to choose to serve in this army hell seems to want us for, as Debrazi said, then what happens?"
"I don't know..."
"neither do i" malinik said, a giggle in his voice.
we walked on the trial, through the last portion of the Forgotten Woods. At the end of the trail was a great gate, demons adorned it from side to side. the colour like blood, like the gate was painted in it before being erected. as we approached the gate one of the demons adoring it's sides awoke and raised it's eyes to us. with a wicked smile it opened it's mouth as if to speak.
"Debraxssi.....Desstynie.... and Malinikss, Hell has played your roll, the dice have been cast against the walls of fate. You have vengful hearts. you have vengful deaths. Hell has a place for you...." it said, it's voice slurring and like a snakes hiss. "welcomesss... Home"
At this the gates opened and the fires of hell could be seem in the distance. screams from those that refuse to fight for the demon's king rang out loud and rattled the tree branches. ever so slowly i took the lead and walked through the gate, followed closely by destynie and malinik. as we stepped through our skin began to burn, i looked down at my hands and saw the flesh slowly burn away reavealing a layer of muscle and finally bone. looking back at destynie and malinik i saw that the same was happening to them. we collapsed into a heap of our own bones and the lights went out...
Awoken by a scream off in the distance, i opened my eyes and saw the through the darkness as if it were day. i sat up on the edge of the bed i was lying in, looked around and noticed that there was two other people lying in similar beds across the room. i tried to get up and walk to the door, but quickly fell, my legs not able to carry my weight. suddenly the door opened and in walk a demon, in his hands i could see a try of food. He walked into the room, looked around, saw the other two were still knocked out or sleeping then noticed me sitting up in my bed. he walked over to me and sat the tray down on the table next to where my head would be if i layed back down, pulled a chair out from under a desk a few feet away and sat down.
"good morning, Debraxi of the human alliances." he said "you have travelled a long way, and have brought us two more that we thought were lost to us"
`"wh.. whe... where am i?" i asked "where is Destynie and Malinik?"
"why they are right over there" he said, pointing to the other two bodies in the room.
"are they ok?" i asked him, still dazed and not fully aware.
"of course, hell takes care of thier own" he said with a laugh "now eat, your king awaits to greet you, you must be strong"
saying what he needed and doing as he was order he got up, returned the chair to it's original position and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
**9**
**The Dead Born Again, Body Born Anew**
i slowly ate the food the demon brought in, although it looked as if it had come from those that the screams belonged to. As i ate i thought about the walk through the Forgotten lands, the Ruins, finding Destynie and Malinik. all of it seemed a little too destined, like i was supposed to go through this. a movement in the corner of my eye broke my train of thought, i looked over and saw Malinik waking up, his body no longer bones but born again with white skin, adorned by tattooes all over. next to him Destynie was sitting up, how long she had been awake was unknown to me. Her skin too was born again in a dead white colour. the tattooes on her skin more like runes drawn by a patient hand all over her body. her eyes had a slight glow to them, like the runes we found carved into the ruins walls. I motioned them to come over, if they could, so we could talk a little before heading to see the king of the lands of Hell. but before they could manage to even say a word, once again the door swung open. two demons dressed in elegant armor marched in, followed by three others bearing clothing and armor.
"Destynie, you will wear these" the first of the two bearing our new clothing said as he handed Destynie her clothing.
"Malinik, you will wear these" the second said handing the clothing to him.
"Debraxi, You will wear this" the first said to me, he then turned and walked out of the room, returning with a set of armor.
"your places have been set, the king awaits" the second said and retreated out of the room followed by the first demon.
we changed from our death clothes into our new clothing. Destynie adorned in leather, barely covering her body. spikes and runes adorned her clothing, with it came a book.
"whats the book for?" i asked her
"i don't know" she said " if i'm reading these runes right, it's a spell book for Necro'trulic's... whatever those are"
Malinik walked out and looked us over. i looked at his armor, it seemd to be made of human flesh. scars could be seen torn into it, stitches tieing it together. clipped to his side and back were a bow and a quiver filled with arrows, the quiver itself looked as if it were made from the same material as his armor. held in the crook of his arm was his helmet, designed to strike fear into his opponents. the helmet, made from living tissue, remebled the demons that came in the room and gave us our clothing. strapped to his right side was a sword.
"and just what are you supposed to be?" i asked him, looking him up and down, for the first time letting my attraction show
"i don't know" he answered me "but maybe we should find out"
"i think you're right" i said and moved toward the door, but before i could reach the handle and turn it, once again it swung open, almost knocking me flat on my ass. in through the opening came a demon woman dressed in an elegant statin dress. the colour shone bright, blood red, almost blinding us through the darkness.
"you will follow me" she said and turned to leave out the door she has just walked through, we followed...
**10**
**The Demon King**
we walked behind the mysterious demon woman, through crowded corridors and chambers, finally coming to a stop before a great door.
"through this door is the demon king" she told us, turning to face us as she motioned for the doors to be opened "be careful what you say. you're places have been set"
with that said she bowed and walked away.
we walked through the doors and into a the biggest chamber we've seen in the castle so far. far ahead of us and dead in the middle of the room rose a great chair. skeleton bones seemingly crawling all over the chair itself, it's ocupant smiling cruely as we walked closer to it. once we had walked a fair distance our knees began to buckle underneath of our weight, we each in turn fell to one knee and bowed our heads down.
"these walls pay tribute to me" the demon sitting on the throne said "you have been played, tested, desserted and still you come forward, you're places have been set in this army of mine, the army of hell. I am Luferius, king of the seventh gate of hell and your new master. Destynie, come forward" she did as told without hesitation, "you have transformed yourself from huntress, misunderstood by your own people, letting your rage and hatred for this wrong doing feed your vengence, hell has made you a Necro-Trulic, you can raise any dead to fight your battles for you. that book you carry will teach you how, i suggest you read it. it can teach you more then i can, Malinik, step forward" as did Destynie, Malinik too stood and stepped forward, "diseased blood elf, hunted by your own kind, betrayer to your old king, you are now a Rang'tuk, the screams you hear adorn your skin in the form of your human flesh armor. your bow and sword make you quicker. you will be an asset to us here in hell. Debraxi, Step forward." i stood, looked about and stepped up beside my companions "You, of the three of you, you have had the most punishment for your crime against yourself, your family and your king. YOU alone torture yourself for what happen in your past life. in doing this you have Transformed yourself into one of the highest honored soldiers of Hell's High army. You are a Demon High Templar night. as far as i know the only one. you're armor, made from the scales of a hell dragon will protect you, your sword will feed on your victims souls, feeding them in turn into your heart. you will live with your pain for the rest of your life. although you travelled here together, this is where you part. Hell has a design for you, good bye for now"
as he said his good byes light came down, forming circles around us and we fell to the floor again.
**11**
**The Passing Of Years**
Saturday, May 19, 2007
the first 6 "chapters" of my story...
**introduction**
Storm clouds ravage the sky, pouring acid rain down on the ground below. in the distance a rumble can be heard coming closer by the second. the city walls stand firm, our archers ready and willing to fire at any moment. inside the walls the women and children are running for safety inside the caves hiding inside the rock face the castle was built on. our leader paces in front of us, paitently waiting to get a glimpse of his opponent, eager to satisfy his urges to kill and feed on his fallen foes. the rain falls in our faces making it hard to see a few feet in front of our faces.
"is everyone ready for battle, cause if you're not you're no use to me and might as well go and hide with the women and children now" our leader screams over a blot of lightening and the crash soon to follow after it. "I have no use for cowards and snivelling children in the armor of men. today is the day we test out mettle. do you have what it takes to kill a man before he kills you?" no one answers his questions. he knows we're ready for this. the training was hard and gruesome, almost to the point of death, but that was the point wasn't it... to make us feel dead so when we had to kill, it would be easy.
over the horizon the first flag of our enemy can be seen, swaying back and forth as the carrier stumbles on the hard rocks of the cliff they are climbing. this will be a slaughter. i look to my leader and see a cruel smile form just around the edges of his mouth, i can see his mind turning over the idea that he will have a full feast of angel blood and wings on his table tonight. he looks around at us, readying his sword in his hands. "tonight is the very night that you have been waiting for, tonight we rid this stupid world of those that call themselves "angels", those that would oppose us in the re-taking of the earth. Tonight my brethren in hell we will be welcomed in open arms. tonight we finish this."
the gates to the castle walls open and we flood out, no one stopping for a second to think of what would happen. arrows fly through the sky, catching fire only seconds before hitting thier targets. the battle has begun...
**1**
**the forest walk**
I wake, it's four in the morning, the sun hasn't risen yet but i can see the sky outside getting lighter by the minute. After a shower in the waterfall next to my home i walk inside and eat breakfast. looking at the sun coming out of the east i wonder if i will make it through to the city of demons this time without angel interference. i open my chest and take my armor out and slowly put it on. each piece fusing to my body as it is placed on my skin. my sword, sharp enough to cut through bone and angel steel, still in it's scabbard fuses to my side and i walk out the door. heading west i walk through the haunted wood toward the demon city.
the woods, haunted by those that chose not to join a side in the war between demon and angel, goes as far as the eye can see, ending just before the mountain of demonicus, home of the demon city. thieves and other random despites live in the woods, preying on those they think are weak. a demon knight is not thier likly target but everynow and then they get the courage to try and take one. attacking in groups to make it more to thier advantage, stealing anything they can to survive the harshness of living on a land not prepared for them. i walk a trail i always walk on, focusing my mind on the impending battle, when i hear a rustle in the branches above me.
"come out thieves, i can sense you moving around me." i demand "i do not have time to fool with you but if you insist on following me anymore i swear i'll take your souls with me to hell"
"hell, HA" the sounds of laughter ring out all around me " we are already in hell, demon knight, or did you not notice that"
"even you can die again my friends" i reply
"you speak tough enough demon, but you are out numbered, i know you can sense us and i know you know that we outnumber you ten to your one" the voice says above my head
"i have faced worse then that, show yourselves and i will show you the true wrath of a demon templar knight"
the leaves rustle and out steps ten men, clothed in shambles of cloth and leather, brandishing stick and home made axes. "you see, you are dead, knight, you may kill some of us and send us to the extiction plane but you will fall in the process"
"that is what you think" i say with a slight laugh escaping me. "you know nothing of my abilities and you will fall" steeling myself i pull my blade from it's scabbard, the blade itself glows red with hate and blood. i look around me, measuring my opponents. i fling my sword into the air and attack the leader, slitting his throat with my knife blade tucked neatly into my bracers, he falls gasping for breath. racing back i grab my sword before it hits the ground and thrust it into another of my attackers before he could react. two down eight more to go. i stand ready to defend myself, my attackers circling around me, looking for an opportuinty to attack. movement behind me takes my attention and i fling my blade into my new attackers forehead. pulling free in time to thrust it into anothers stomach. two more down.
"give up, i have killed four of you already, if you wish for your families to eat then i would quit and run now... but i can't promise that i will let you go, i am after all a demon and your souls feed my swords hatred"
"w...w...we should run, she's too much for us" one of them stammers. i can smell the foul smell of piss running down his leg. i let out a laugh so evil that he turns to run away. three steps into his run he falls dead, one of my blades sticking through his heart.
"i am Debraxi, high templar knight of the demons, only female in the army. YOUR souls will be mine" i scream, attacking the rest of them as violently as i can. i rip one of thier throats out with my bare hands, throwing whats left of it into anothers face, i impale him with my sword, ripping up, spilling his guts everywhere. the rest try to run, but do so without thier heads. blood stains my armor and swords blade, soaking in and feeding it with hatred. i look about at the damage done, re-sheath my sword and return to my walk. i'm late.
**2**
**Debraxi: The Drak'Thurin**
i was human once. Part of the human alliances army. a Drak'thurin, or dragon rider. i was a leader, answering only to the king of our lands himself. but i was betrayed. asked to force my family into the afterlife plain. i was brandished a murderer and unfit to lead an army. they tortured me to no end, reviving me when i died to do it all over again. my body scarred from whips and burning rods of metal. The king himself did most of my punishment, siting that it was unproper for a Drak'Thurin to kill those of thier own kind, especially thier family. i did it cause he asked... i did it with great patience.... i did it with regret. after what seemed like years in a dark tower surrouneded by those that i myself persecuted, they set me free. not in the way most would be, i was killed... raped then killed by those that were my friends. i can still remember thier sweat covered bodies as they thrust into me, one after the other. calling me names and smacking me... beating me until there was no breath left in my lungs. i passed into the afterlife plain, ready for my sweet, sweet revenge on those that did this to me... and i will get it.
Of all the pain that could befallen me, after all i did for the king of men, i was so easily cast aside and thrown from the loving, holding arms i was accoustomed to. My body was desicrated after i passed. scarred beyond recognition. my face beaten to a pulp. my breasts cut off and hung in the kinds bedchamber. my arms and legs were tore from my body and place at the four corner stones of the castle. i served as their messenger even in death. the king showed those that would betray him what would happen. i became thier martyr, serving one last purpose to the will of a derrange king of men.
as i passed over, i saw my life. my birth, teen years... my family. i saw my blade cut through my sons hair, splitting his skull in two. his eyes wide with shock and horror as he stared at me. my husband, running in from the field where he was helping the slave workers. i could see him look at me then our son... blood... pooling on the ground around his lifeless body. the look of sheer horror on his face as he looked at the blood on my sword. with one quick move i ended his suffering. one sharp stab in the chest. he was gone in seconds, passing over onto the afterlife plain. it wasn't long before the castle guards came and arrested me, knowing full well that i had done as order. told that my husband was helping the dark ones. my trial, short and sweet, my emprisonment and my rape... then finally my death.
But death isn't what one would think. i learned this the hard way, in passing into the afterlife plain there are many "lands" to go through before you find where you belong. these lands, placed by the gods of Heaven and Hell, are designed to test you. if you fall into vengful thinking you end up in hell, rightious deaths go to heaven. the first land in the series is as was described before, it is called "The lands of Limbo", where you see what you had done in the glorious life you lived. where the gods test if you can make it through the rest, placing bets on who goes where. it's a cruel game, but we all must play at one point in time. the second, as i find out, is "the Forgotten Lands"...
**3**
**The Forgotten Lands**
the "walk" i was on through the times in my life lead to the Lands of the Forgotten. Forsaken by all the dead that cross over to Heaven or Hell. the lands, covered in decaying trees and swamps full of bodies, spans many miles in the passing lands. as i passed into this new realm of the afterlife plain i found another, lying, crying on the ground. shaken by her death i walked over and asked her name. she said it was Destynie of the Hark'kurim tribe of humans. an outcast of her tribe she sought to become a Drak'thurin, but died in the trials. I introduced myself and told her to get up and be strong. She noticed the name and started to cry again.
"Debraxi, where are we?" She asked tears falling slowly down her cheeks, a quiver in her voice.
"The Forgotten Lands" I answered "a place for those murder or forgotten. we must be careful, these woods are crowded with vengful spirits, or so my father told me once." I try to sound brave, not knowing fully that we would be safe walking through these woods. "we need to go through them, it's another test from the gods."
"I.. I'm not stepping inside those damned decaying trees. i think i'm going to stay here... you're not going to leave me are you?" she was starting to cry again.
"stop that, you'll be fine, get up... let's go, you're coming with me"
we started down the hillside and into the forest. walking what i thought could be east. once inside the woods the sun seemed to dissappear, shadows seemed to move all around us. quivering behind me Destynie quietly sobbed as i led her deeper into the woods. about three miles into the forest we stopped. ahead of us was a clearing with what looked like decaying corpses walking around. i told destynie to wait here in the bushes and slowly crept forward to get a better look. what i saw was exactly as i thought, corpses, decaying slowly with time, walking around looking for something. i crept a little closer and pulled a rock out of the ground, throwing it far to the west of the clearing. the corpses looked up from the ground, hearing the sounds of my rock crashing throught the dead branches of the far tree bank. slowly they made thier way to where my rock laid to rest. i quickly crept back to destynie and told her it was time to move. watching the corpses as i lead her into the clearing and through it.
"those... were.. dead.. people weren't they" she asked me never looking away from them herself.
"forgotten by the gods. they lay here, restless, decaying through time, never finding thier true place" i told her, still creeping through the clearing.
"thats... horrid" she said, her voice cold as steel. "i feel i need to give you some information about myself... i wasn't always this scared you know..."
"i think you should wait until we're safely back into the woods" i interrupted her "our decaying friends don't seem interested in my rock anymore"
**4**
**Destynie: The Terrin'kul"
we made it to the other side of the clearing, hardly noticed by the wandering corpses. once at a safe distance from the clearing we sat down, i told destynie to contiue with whatever it was she was going to say.
"I was a Terrin'kul, a huntress for my tribe. daughter of the chieften, but and outcast. i had the unique ability to speak to the animals. my fellow tribesman didn't understand, so they drove me out. i ran... and i ran... finally getting lost. no animals in the forest outside your beloved castle would talk to me, show me the way. I... I.. lied to you before, or maybe the fates did, when i told you i was going to your caslte to become a Drak'thurin. i was looking for the king, to ask that he take me into his army. to show him a village that opposes him, but i was killed instead." she said, memories clearly hurting her inside. tears slowly flowing down her cheeks once again.
"you saw the king... and he betrayed you didn't he" i asked her.
"yes... and no... i saw his adivisors, never did i see the king himself. they took the information i had, then tossed me to the wolves. i thought i would be of use..." she stopped only pausing to let loose a shudder. "i was, i guess you could say. they sold me to the highest bidder, i lost my virginity to an eighty year old man and his "boy", they bought me to be thier whore." her tears stopped and her voice changed once again from the stutter, shell shocked tone i was so used to, now i could hear her anger, her hatred for what they had done to her. "so i stole away, found a bow, fashioned some arrows and waited. when they came out in the morning... they didn't see what was coming, i shot them, one at a time from a tree about three hundred yards from the house. they ran of course, but i am a huntress. i got my revenge that day... so why am i being cursed by coming here?"
"cause you died" i answered her as solmely as i could muster.
"i got killed... sold... betrayed... shouldn't death be a release?" she sat down on the ground beside me "i mean.. this isn't right, why are you here?"
i had hope this question would not come up. think of it as a standard, i'm not used to being questioned. " i was, myself was betrayed by the king of men. I was Drak'Thurin, a leader of an army. I was called to the kings chambers and asked to do a deed for him. this deed i did, with honor to my king, but betrayal to myself. I slew my family, thinking they were working with an unknown enemy. my son, my husband... i was then seized by the kings guard, tortured and killed many times, raped... then thrown into a river, soon to be forgotten. I too will have my revenge on the king of men."
A common bond among strangers, forged in vengful death. we set off towards the east again, heading deeper into the Forgotten woods. Destynie walking tall now, she found a sister in death and was ready to die again for her. I too felt the same.
**5**
**The Ruins Of The Forgotten**
we walked for what seemed like hours. the sun never able to break through the dead tree tops, as we walked i found the trees getting closer and closer together. Suddenly as we passed through the trees the sun shone bright apon our white, dead skin. Another clearing, we ducked down hoping we weren't seen by anyone that may have been standing in the grass. after a few minutes i peek my head up and took a quick look around. seeing nothing i stood up. motioned for destynie to do the same and took a better look at our surroundings.
The sun shone on tall green grass, shaped by the trees in a perfect circle. dead in the middle, where the sun seemed to be shining brighter was an old entrance to what seemed like an underground barracks for some dead army. carefully we walked toward the entrance.
"do you know what this is Debraxi?" destynie whispered into my ear
"no" i answered "but i intend to find out... the easy way or the hard way."
"what the hell is that supposed to mean" her whispers getting more excited
"shhhh, if there is anything in here i wanna surprise them, not them surprise us, so keep it down.... got it?"
"yes" she said hanging her head and whispering again.
the entrance was carved out of the face of the slight hill. like a hobits hole but built downwards, going deep into the ground. we could see what would have been door hinges, ripped off long ago by something big and strong enough to move a heavy door right out of a rock's face. runes adored the door frame, carved into the rock and pale, like some sort of magic spell was there but barely had enough power to sustain itself.
"it says 'enter at own risk, dark evil lurks inside'" destynie whispered. i could hear her breath cought in her throat.
"how do you know that?" i asked, not bothering to hold my surprise.
"i don't.... know" she said " i just can... theres more...'only those of venful hate can survive, enter if you dare'"
"the doors been gone for... longer then i can think of at the moment"
"do you think there is anyone still down there?" she asked " maybe using it for shelter from this dreaded sun"
"maybe..." i said "possible... we should check"
"if you insist"
we entered, slowly, creeping down the stairs, hugging the side walls. after we went down fifty stairs, the air got stale and the light was stolen away. i looked back toward the door, what once was ripped away was now replaced. the door was back, runes glowing giddily on the door itself, i turned destynie around and asked her to read what they said.
"you have come to the Ruins of the Forgotten, if vengful of heart and death, seek out the devil king of hades hand" she read aloud. "who do you think that is?"
"i don't know, but this name "ruins of the forgotten..."
"yes?" destynies questioned as i drifted off into memories, trying despratly to dig into my past life and remeber the name.
"my.. my father, he told me about the afterlife, claiming he met someone that was here and went back, someone at a bar somewhere... anyway, this is for those destined for Hell's high army" i told her as the memory flooded back into my mind. " We were murdered, betrayed, raped... we are both vengful of heart and death. we are destined to be in Hell's army Destynie"
"oh.."
**6**
**Pools of Despair**
We encountered little to no trouble in walking through what must have been the first half of the ruins. moving deeper into them, we walked for what seemed like hours, the only light coming from a torch we stole from a camp of dead elves. most likly victims not fit for the ruins. passing through empty chamber after empty chamber, some had skeltons of dead humans, orcs or elves lieing around, some barred in chains. as we walked, silently in case of any other explorers, we came to a chamber, fully cirular with a pool of blue green liquid. looking into it i saw tortured souls swimming deep in the water, wailing to no one in particular, but no sounds escaped the waters. destynie came to my side and looked in, seeing what i saw she retreated to the walls to read the ruins carved in the stone.
"the Pools of Despair" she read "Three in total if i'm getting this right, this is for the tortured souls. destined to swim in thier sorrows, thats a horrid way to spend your afterlife"
"it's sad.." i responded, not able to look away from the souls swimming and screaming thier pain, not knowing that no one looking in can hear them.
"we should move on... this place is scaring me... the wall says the other two pools are further in, about two hundred yards, i guess we need to see them as well before we get to the other side of these ruins"
i moved away, taking one last glance at the pool in front of me, then headed toward the door on the other side of the chamber. Destynie followed me and we headed toward the other two pools. again passing through empty chambers, we came to one where light and think voices could be heard. crouching and hugging the wall closest to the voices i crept forward and peeked into the room. three decaying corpses were trying to feed on a withering blood elf, he in turn was trying to fight them off. i returned to Destynie and told her about the situation.
"there are three corpses attacking a withering blood elf, he's trying to fight them off but without our help he'll expire again and go further into the forgotten lands." i said, my voice like steel "are you ready to fight?"
"i think so" she told me, looking around for a weapon. " i need a bow... wait... Thurum.. Tachim.. Creptim"
"what was that? i asked bewildered by the sudden change in her tempo and words.
" i don't know..." she trailed off as a sound came from behind us, like bones being pulled back together and reanimated. suddenly out of the darkness came three skeletons... three of the dead ones we just passed, brandishing swords and sheilds. they stopped just short of a foot from us and stood ready to fight. two of them offering me two swords and destynie one for herself. with this we were ready to fight. we rounded the corner and struck the corpses with all we had. Destynie pulled the blood elf to the safety while the skeletons attacked and killed the corpses with me.
After the battle was finished the skeletons again fell apart, thier bones shattering as the hit the ground in a pile of dust. we watched and looked around to see if any more dangers were lurking about, then walked to the withering blood elf.
"what is your name?" i asked him as we helped him to stand "and what are you doing in these ruins?"
"i.. i am Malinik Dreafix... Blood Elf warlord" he said struggling through the pain " and i.. i'm here.. trying to find my place in the afterl..life"
"well this is the ruins of the forgotten... it's apparently for those meant for Hell's high army" destynie said "if we are getting these runes right after all"
"can you stand on your own?" i asked "for that matter can you walk? you're of no use to us if you can't fight with us"
"cold debraxi, that was just cold" destynie said, a scolding tone in her voice.
"it's all right love, i have heard worse from humans" Malinik said "and to answer your questions.. debraxi, right? yes i can.. and give me a moment and a sword and i can fight with you, maybe save your life in the process"
"i doubt that" i said and started walking away
the three of us walked for an hour through narrow halls. Destynie reading the runes as we walked, hopefully pointing us in the right direction. soon we came to the second pool, destynie went over to the runes on the wall and read them out loud for Malinik and I could hear.
"The Pool of the weary, for those who suffered deaths by loved ones or ones own hand, destined to remain until thier pain be resolved" she read with confidence in her voice " i'm getting good at this"
i walked over to the pools edge and look inside, seeing souls swimming againg in a reddish purle ooze. as i looked in two souls swam closer to the surface and as they looked up and i looked in i recognized thier faces. i fell away from the edge, bawled up into the fetal position and began to weep, seeing what i had done to my son and husband crushing all that i had to steel myself. thier eyes, even though i could no longer see them, still burned holes through my chest. Destynie and Malinik ran, quickly, to my side, both concered with my well being. i pushed them away and got up. steel myself again and looked into the pool. as i stared again into the murky ooze, my family floated to the surface and stared through my chest. i looked at them and wept, i wept so they could see the pain i held inside my heart and soul for what i had done to them. i wept so they could see the pain i went through for so many years after finding out that i had been betrayed after my betrayal. still they stared holes through my chest, causeing my heart more pain than i thought it could bare. i grew cold and hated the fact that my dead family was judging me from thier pool of slime and ooze, so i threw my fists into the ooze, smashing the barrier between myself and my family, freeing my soul from the torment.
Storm clouds ravage the sky, pouring acid rain down on the ground below. in the distance a rumble can be heard coming closer by the second. the city walls stand firm, our archers ready and willing to fire at any moment. inside the walls the women and children are running for safety inside the caves hiding inside the rock face the castle was built on. our leader paces in front of us, paitently waiting to get a glimpse of his opponent, eager to satisfy his urges to kill and feed on his fallen foes. the rain falls in our faces making it hard to see a few feet in front of our faces.
"is everyone ready for battle, cause if you're not you're no use to me and might as well go and hide with the women and children now" our leader screams over a blot of lightening and the crash soon to follow after it. "I have no use for cowards and snivelling children in the armor of men. today is the day we test out mettle. do you have what it takes to kill a man before he kills you?" no one answers his questions. he knows we're ready for this. the training was hard and gruesome, almost to the point of death, but that was the point wasn't it... to make us feel dead so when we had to kill, it would be easy.
over the horizon the first flag of our enemy can be seen, swaying back and forth as the carrier stumbles on the hard rocks of the cliff they are climbing. this will be a slaughter. i look to my leader and see a cruel smile form just around the edges of his mouth, i can see his mind turning over the idea that he will have a full feast of angel blood and wings on his table tonight. he looks around at us, readying his sword in his hands. "tonight is the very night that you have been waiting for, tonight we rid this stupid world of those that call themselves "angels", those that would oppose us in the re-taking of the earth. Tonight my brethren in hell we will be welcomed in open arms. tonight we finish this."
the gates to the castle walls open and we flood out, no one stopping for a second to think of what would happen. arrows fly through the sky, catching fire only seconds before hitting thier targets. the battle has begun...
**1**
**the forest walk**
I wake, it's four in the morning, the sun hasn't risen yet but i can see the sky outside getting lighter by the minute. After a shower in the waterfall next to my home i walk inside and eat breakfast. looking at the sun coming out of the east i wonder if i will make it through to the city of demons this time without angel interference. i open my chest and take my armor out and slowly put it on. each piece fusing to my body as it is placed on my skin. my sword, sharp enough to cut through bone and angel steel, still in it's scabbard fuses to my side and i walk out the door. heading west i walk through the haunted wood toward the demon city.
the woods, haunted by those that chose not to join a side in the war between demon and angel, goes as far as the eye can see, ending just before the mountain of demonicus, home of the demon city. thieves and other random despites live in the woods, preying on those they think are weak. a demon knight is not thier likly target but everynow and then they get the courage to try and take one. attacking in groups to make it more to thier advantage, stealing anything they can to survive the harshness of living on a land not prepared for them. i walk a trail i always walk on, focusing my mind on the impending battle, when i hear a rustle in the branches above me.
"come out thieves, i can sense you moving around me." i demand "i do not have time to fool with you but if you insist on following me anymore i swear i'll take your souls with me to hell"
"hell, HA" the sounds of laughter ring out all around me " we are already in hell, demon knight, or did you not notice that"
"even you can die again my friends" i reply
"you speak tough enough demon, but you are out numbered, i know you can sense us and i know you know that we outnumber you ten to your one" the voice says above my head
"i have faced worse then that, show yourselves and i will show you the true wrath of a demon templar knight"
the leaves rustle and out steps ten men, clothed in shambles of cloth and leather, brandishing stick and home made axes. "you see, you are dead, knight, you may kill some of us and send us to the extiction plane but you will fall in the process"
"that is what you think" i say with a slight laugh escaping me. "you know nothing of my abilities and you will fall" steeling myself i pull my blade from it's scabbard, the blade itself glows red with hate and blood. i look around me, measuring my opponents. i fling my sword into the air and attack the leader, slitting his throat with my knife blade tucked neatly into my bracers, he falls gasping for breath. racing back i grab my sword before it hits the ground and thrust it into another of my attackers before he could react. two down eight more to go. i stand ready to defend myself, my attackers circling around me, looking for an opportuinty to attack. movement behind me takes my attention and i fling my blade into my new attackers forehead. pulling free in time to thrust it into anothers stomach. two more down.
"give up, i have killed four of you already, if you wish for your families to eat then i would quit and run now... but i can't promise that i will let you go, i am after all a demon and your souls feed my swords hatred"
"w...w...we should run, she's too much for us" one of them stammers. i can smell the foul smell of piss running down his leg. i let out a laugh so evil that he turns to run away. three steps into his run he falls dead, one of my blades sticking through his heart.
"i am Debraxi, high templar knight of the demons, only female in the army. YOUR souls will be mine" i scream, attacking the rest of them as violently as i can. i rip one of thier throats out with my bare hands, throwing whats left of it into anothers face, i impale him with my sword, ripping up, spilling his guts everywhere. the rest try to run, but do so without thier heads. blood stains my armor and swords blade, soaking in and feeding it with hatred. i look about at the damage done, re-sheath my sword and return to my walk. i'm late.
**2**
**Debraxi: The Drak'Thurin**
i was human once. Part of the human alliances army. a Drak'thurin, or dragon rider. i was a leader, answering only to the king of our lands himself. but i was betrayed. asked to force my family into the afterlife plain. i was brandished a murderer and unfit to lead an army. they tortured me to no end, reviving me when i died to do it all over again. my body scarred from whips and burning rods of metal. The king himself did most of my punishment, siting that it was unproper for a Drak'Thurin to kill those of thier own kind, especially thier family. i did it cause he asked... i did it with great patience.... i did it with regret. after what seemed like years in a dark tower surrouneded by those that i myself persecuted, they set me free. not in the way most would be, i was killed... raped then killed by those that were my friends. i can still remember thier sweat covered bodies as they thrust into me, one after the other. calling me names and smacking me... beating me until there was no breath left in my lungs. i passed into the afterlife plain, ready for my sweet, sweet revenge on those that did this to me... and i will get it.
Of all the pain that could befallen me, after all i did for the king of men, i was so easily cast aside and thrown from the loving, holding arms i was accoustomed to. My body was desicrated after i passed. scarred beyond recognition. my face beaten to a pulp. my breasts cut off and hung in the kinds bedchamber. my arms and legs were tore from my body and place at the four corner stones of the castle. i served as their messenger even in death. the king showed those that would betray him what would happen. i became thier martyr, serving one last purpose to the will of a derrange king of men.
as i passed over, i saw my life. my birth, teen years... my family. i saw my blade cut through my sons hair, splitting his skull in two. his eyes wide with shock and horror as he stared at me. my husband, running in from the field where he was helping the slave workers. i could see him look at me then our son... blood... pooling on the ground around his lifeless body. the look of sheer horror on his face as he looked at the blood on my sword. with one quick move i ended his suffering. one sharp stab in the chest. he was gone in seconds, passing over onto the afterlife plain. it wasn't long before the castle guards came and arrested me, knowing full well that i had done as order. told that my husband was helping the dark ones. my trial, short and sweet, my emprisonment and my rape... then finally my death.
But death isn't what one would think. i learned this the hard way, in passing into the afterlife plain there are many "lands" to go through before you find where you belong. these lands, placed by the gods of Heaven and Hell, are designed to test you. if you fall into vengful thinking you end up in hell, rightious deaths go to heaven. the first land in the series is as was described before, it is called "The lands of Limbo", where you see what you had done in the glorious life you lived. where the gods test if you can make it through the rest, placing bets on who goes where. it's a cruel game, but we all must play at one point in time. the second, as i find out, is "the Forgotten Lands"...
**3**
**The Forgotten Lands**
the "walk" i was on through the times in my life lead to the Lands of the Forgotten. Forsaken by all the dead that cross over to Heaven or Hell. the lands, covered in decaying trees and swamps full of bodies, spans many miles in the passing lands. as i passed into this new realm of the afterlife plain i found another, lying, crying on the ground. shaken by her death i walked over and asked her name. she said it was Destynie of the Hark'kurim tribe of humans. an outcast of her tribe she sought to become a Drak'thurin, but died in the trials. I introduced myself and told her to get up and be strong. She noticed the name and started to cry again.
"Debraxi, where are we?" She asked tears falling slowly down her cheeks, a quiver in her voice.
"The Forgotten Lands" I answered "a place for those murder or forgotten. we must be careful, these woods are crowded with vengful spirits, or so my father told me once." I try to sound brave, not knowing fully that we would be safe walking through these woods. "we need to go through them, it's another test from the gods."
"I.. I'm not stepping inside those damned decaying trees. i think i'm going to stay here... you're not going to leave me are you?" she was starting to cry again.
"stop that, you'll be fine, get up... let's go, you're coming with me"
we started down the hillside and into the forest. walking what i thought could be east. once inside the woods the sun seemed to dissappear, shadows seemed to move all around us. quivering behind me Destynie quietly sobbed as i led her deeper into the woods. about three miles into the forest we stopped. ahead of us was a clearing with what looked like decaying corpses walking around. i told destynie to wait here in the bushes and slowly crept forward to get a better look. what i saw was exactly as i thought, corpses, decaying slowly with time, walking around looking for something. i crept a little closer and pulled a rock out of the ground, throwing it far to the west of the clearing. the corpses looked up from the ground, hearing the sounds of my rock crashing throught the dead branches of the far tree bank. slowly they made thier way to where my rock laid to rest. i quickly crept back to destynie and told her it was time to move. watching the corpses as i lead her into the clearing and through it.
"those... were.. dead.. people weren't they" she asked me never looking away from them herself.
"forgotten by the gods. they lay here, restless, decaying through time, never finding thier true place" i told her, still creeping through the clearing.
"thats... horrid" she said, her voice cold as steel. "i feel i need to give you some information about myself... i wasn't always this scared you know..."
"i think you should wait until we're safely back into the woods" i interrupted her "our decaying friends don't seem interested in my rock anymore"
**4**
**Destynie: The Terrin'kul"
we made it to the other side of the clearing, hardly noticed by the wandering corpses. once at a safe distance from the clearing we sat down, i told destynie to contiue with whatever it was she was going to say.
"I was a Terrin'kul, a huntress for my tribe. daughter of the chieften, but and outcast. i had the unique ability to speak to the animals. my fellow tribesman didn't understand, so they drove me out. i ran... and i ran... finally getting lost. no animals in the forest outside your beloved castle would talk to me, show me the way. I... I.. lied to you before, or maybe the fates did, when i told you i was going to your caslte to become a Drak'thurin. i was looking for the king, to ask that he take me into his army. to show him a village that opposes him, but i was killed instead." she said, memories clearly hurting her inside. tears slowly flowing down her cheeks once again.
"you saw the king... and he betrayed you didn't he" i asked her.
"yes... and no... i saw his adivisors, never did i see the king himself. they took the information i had, then tossed me to the wolves. i thought i would be of use..." she stopped only pausing to let loose a shudder. "i was, i guess you could say. they sold me to the highest bidder, i lost my virginity to an eighty year old man and his "boy", they bought me to be thier whore." her tears stopped and her voice changed once again from the stutter, shell shocked tone i was so used to, now i could hear her anger, her hatred for what they had done to her. "so i stole away, found a bow, fashioned some arrows and waited. when they came out in the morning... they didn't see what was coming, i shot them, one at a time from a tree about three hundred yards from the house. they ran of course, but i am a huntress. i got my revenge that day... so why am i being cursed by coming here?"
"cause you died" i answered her as solmely as i could muster.
"i got killed... sold... betrayed... shouldn't death be a release?" she sat down on the ground beside me "i mean.. this isn't right, why are you here?"
i had hope this question would not come up. think of it as a standard, i'm not used to being questioned. " i was, myself was betrayed by the king of men. I was Drak'Thurin, a leader of an army. I was called to the kings chambers and asked to do a deed for him. this deed i did, with honor to my king, but betrayal to myself. I slew my family, thinking they were working with an unknown enemy. my son, my husband... i was then seized by the kings guard, tortured and killed many times, raped... then thrown into a river, soon to be forgotten. I too will have my revenge on the king of men."
A common bond among strangers, forged in vengful death. we set off towards the east again, heading deeper into the Forgotten woods. Destynie walking tall now, she found a sister in death and was ready to die again for her. I too felt the same.
**5**
**The Ruins Of The Forgotten**
we walked for what seemed like hours. the sun never able to break through the dead tree tops, as we walked i found the trees getting closer and closer together. Suddenly as we passed through the trees the sun shone bright apon our white, dead skin. Another clearing, we ducked down hoping we weren't seen by anyone that may have been standing in the grass. after a few minutes i peek my head up and took a quick look around. seeing nothing i stood up. motioned for destynie to do the same and took a better look at our surroundings.
The sun shone on tall green grass, shaped by the trees in a perfect circle. dead in the middle, where the sun seemed to be shining brighter was an old entrance to what seemed like an underground barracks for some dead army. carefully we walked toward the entrance.
"do you know what this is Debraxi?" destynie whispered into my ear
"no" i answered "but i intend to find out... the easy way or the hard way."
"what the hell is that supposed to mean" her whispers getting more excited
"shhhh, if there is anything in here i wanna surprise them, not them surprise us, so keep it down.... got it?"
"yes" she said hanging her head and whispering again.
the entrance was carved out of the face of the slight hill. like a hobits hole but built downwards, going deep into the ground. we could see what would have been door hinges, ripped off long ago by something big and strong enough to move a heavy door right out of a rock's face. runes adored the door frame, carved into the rock and pale, like some sort of magic spell was there but barely had enough power to sustain itself.
"it says 'enter at own risk, dark evil lurks inside'" destynie whispered. i could hear her breath cought in her throat.
"how do you know that?" i asked, not bothering to hold my surprise.
"i don't.... know" she said " i just can... theres more...'only those of venful hate can survive, enter if you dare'"
"the doors been gone for... longer then i can think of at the moment"
"do you think there is anyone still down there?" she asked " maybe using it for shelter from this dreaded sun"
"maybe..." i said "possible... we should check"
"if you insist"
we entered, slowly, creeping down the stairs, hugging the side walls. after we went down fifty stairs, the air got stale and the light was stolen away. i looked back toward the door, what once was ripped away was now replaced. the door was back, runes glowing giddily on the door itself, i turned destynie around and asked her to read what they said.
"you have come to the Ruins of the Forgotten, if vengful of heart and death, seek out the devil king of hades hand" she read aloud. "who do you think that is?"
"i don't know, but this name "ruins of the forgotten..."
"yes?" destynies questioned as i drifted off into memories, trying despratly to dig into my past life and remeber the name.
"my.. my father, he told me about the afterlife, claiming he met someone that was here and went back, someone at a bar somewhere... anyway, this is for those destined for Hell's high army" i told her as the memory flooded back into my mind. " We were murdered, betrayed, raped... we are both vengful of heart and death. we are destined to be in Hell's army Destynie"
"oh.."
**6**
**Pools of Despair**
We encountered little to no trouble in walking through what must have been the first half of the ruins. moving deeper into them, we walked for what seemed like hours, the only light coming from a torch we stole from a camp of dead elves. most likly victims not fit for the ruins. passing through empty chamber after empty chamber, some had skeltons of dead humans, orcs or elves lieing around, some barred in chains. as we walked, silently in case of any other explorers, we came to a chamber, fully cirular with a pool of blue green liquid. looking into it i saw tortured souls swimming deep in the water, wailing to no one in particular, but no sounds escaped the waters. destynie came to my side and looked in, seeing what i saw she retreated to the walls to read the ruins carved in the stone.
"the Pools of Despair" she read "Three in total if i'm getting this right, this is for the tortured souls. destined to swim in thier sorrows, thats a horrid way to spend your afterlife"
"it's sad.." i responded, not able to look away from the souls swimming and screaming thier pain, not knowing that no one looking in can hear them.
"we should move on... this place is scaring me... the wall says the other two pools are further in, about two hundred yards, i guess we need to see them as well before we get to the other side of these ruins"
i moved away, taking one last glance at the pool in front of me, then headed toward the door on the other side of the chamber. Destynie followed me and we headed toward the other two pools. again passing through empty chambers, we came to one where light and think voices could be heard. crouching and hugging the wall closest to the voices i crept forward and peeked into the room. three decaying corpses were trying to feed on a withering blood elf, he in turn was trying to fight them off. i returned to Destynie and told her about the situation.
"there are three corpses attacking a withering blood elf, he's trying to fight them off but without our help he'll expire again and go further into the forgotten lands." i said, my voice like steel "are you ready to fight?"
"i think so" she told me, looking around for a weapon. " i need a bow... wait... Thurum.. Tachim.. Creptim"
"what was that? i asked bewildered by the sudden change in her tempo and words.
" i don't know..." she trailed off as a sound came from behind us, like bones being pulled back together and reanimated. suddenly out of the darkness came three skeletons... three of the dead ones we just passed, brandishing swords and sheilds. they stopped just short of a foot from us and stood ready to fight. two of them offering me two swords and destynie one for herself. with this we were ready to fight. we rounded the corner and struck the corpses with all we had. Destynie pulled the blood elf to the safety while the skeletons attacked and killed the corpses with me.
After the battle was finished the skeletons again fell apart, thier bones shattering as the hit the ground in a pile of dust. we watched and looked around to see if any more dangers were lurking about, then walked to the withering blood elf.
"what is your name?" i asked him as we helped him to stand "and what are you doing in these ruins?"
"i.. i am Malinik Dreafix... Blood Elf warlord" he said struggling through the pain " and i.. i'm here.. trying to find my place in the afterl..life"
"well this is the ruins of the forgotten... it's apparently for those meant for Hell's high army" destynie said "if we are getting these runes right after all"
"can you stand on your own?" i asked "for that matter can you walk? you're of no use to us if you can't fight with us"
"cold debraxi, that was just cold" destynie said, a scolding tone in her voice.
"it's all right love, i have heard worse from humans" Malinik said "and to answer your questions.. debraxi, right? yes i can.. and give me a moment and a sword and i can fight with you, maybe save your life in the process"
"i doubt that" i said and started walking away
the three of us walked for an hour through narrow halls. Destynie reading the runes as we walked, hopefully pointing us in the right direction. soon we came to the second pool, destynie went over to the runes on the wall and read them out loud for Malinik and I could hear.
"The Pool of the weary, for those who suffered deaths by loved ones or ones own hand, destined to remain until thier pain be resolved" she read with confidence in her voice " i'm getting good at this"
i walked over to the pools edge and look inside, seeing souls swimming againg in a reddish purle ooze. as i looked in two souls swam closer to the surface and as they looked up and i looked in i recognized thier faces. i fell away from the edge, bawled up into the fetal position and began to weep, seeing what i had done to my son and husband crushing all that i had to steel myself. thier eyes, even though i could no longer see them, still burned holes through my chest. Destynie and Malinik ran, quickly, to my side, both concered with my well being. i pushed them away and got up. steel myself again and looked into the pool. as i stared again into the murky ooze, my family floated to the surface and stared through my chest. i looked at them and wept, i wept so they could see the pain i held inside my heart and soul for what i had done to them. i wept so they could see the pain i went through for so many years after finding out that i had been betrayed after my betrayal. still they stared holes through my chest, causeing my heart more pain than i thought it could bare. i grew cold and hated the fact that my dead family was judging me from thier pool of slime and ooze, so i threw my fists into the ooze, smashing the barrier between myself and my family, freeing my soul from the torment.
Friday, May 11, 2007
let's not talk about it...
"a look inside"
nothing in me seems new
every feeling is used
the voices in my head say everythings ok
i ask them then why do i feel this way
never knowing when my time is up
i always feel so crushed
bruises turn into scars
my minds not what it used to be
everything is bleak
i'm surrounded by shadows
and every word you speak is a killing blow
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
when the thin clouds seem to disperse
dreary eyed and sleepy, i'll turn
living my nightmares
never my dreams
the rains never seem to cease
so my clouds will never disperse
i'm trapped in my own mind
not letting me out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
till death bed i'll sleep on the couch
the walls and bed feel like prisons
speaking hurtful things in the night
bare walls seem safer
never a story to tell
but as the sun goes down
i still see no sleep
my weary eyes are tired and sore
but my mind races
never tiring out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
Andrew C.
nothing in me seems new
every feeling is used
the voices in my head say everythings ok
i ask them then why do i feel this way
never knowing when my time is up
i always feel so crushed
bruises turn into scars
my minds not what it used to be
everything is bleak
i'm surrounded by shadows
and every word you speak is a killing blow
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
when the thin clouds seem to disperse
dreary eyed and sleepy, i'll turn
living my nightmares
never my dreams
the rains never seem to cease
so my clouds will never disperse
i'm trapped in my own mind
not letting me out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
till death bed i'll sleep on the couch
the walls and bed feel like prisons
speaking hurtful things in the night
bare walls seem safer
never a story to tell
but as the sun goes down
i still see no sleep
my weary eyes are tired and sore
but my mind races
never tiring out
patience is never aloud
my mind is racing around
turning words into sharp pins
then imaginary fingers stick them in
never a forgiving thought
i'm everything i'm not.
Andrew C.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
An update...
well lets see, i should prolly put something relevent on this thing. poetry is good, but if you don't know me then you wouldn't be able to decifer what they are all about.
things have been rocky for me. lots of inner turmoil, fights with my own thoughts. possiblities of losing a job that just isn't worth the bullshit that i have to put up with anyway. umm, lets see, my mothers boyfriend has to close his shop (he owns his own body shop on Quadra) in june cause it's killing him, literally. she's got to find a job and wants me to come over and make up a cover letter for her resume, side note, baby we should go over there and visit soon.
Trista and Eric, my roommates for those who don't know, seem to be doing thier own thing. trista left Wendy's the other day, stupid place is a fucking gong show anyway.
FINGER ELEVEN ON THE 13th, and i get to see them for the first time with the most special person, the most beauftul person i know. it'll be a long trip down there, at least i think so since i don't usually get up until around 1230-1ish, we have to be up and possibly on the bus by 9 in the morning to get there at a half decent time. it should be fun and interesting.
oh how times change. it's almost a year and i can't believe how time flies. we've had our up times and thank god they out number the bad times. i love you and always will. you have been there for me through the worst of times, always having my back when everyone else seems to be giving up on me, i love you for that. i know that it seems like i'm a frustrated, over exposed, self possessed asshole sometimes, at least thats what i feel like and you put up with me still, i will never find another person like you and i'm ever grateful that we have each other. 5 LOOOOONG years of friendship and one SHORT year of relationship, the times have changed and the one constant is you. I LOVE YOU BABY.
i think that might be it. i can't really think of anything else to put on here. it's 8:52 in the am. i've been woken by my teeth again... but thats ok, just means i can acctually enjoy a day.
things have been rocky for me. lots of inner turmoil, fights with my own thoughts. possiblities of losing a job that just isn't worth the bullshit that i have to put up with anyway. umm, lets see, my mothers boyfriend has to close his shop (he owns his own body shop on Quadra) in june cause it's killing him, literally. she's got to find a job and wants me to come over and make up a cover letter for her resume, side note, baby we should go over there and visit soon.
Trista and Eric, my roommates for those who don't know, seem to be doing thier own thing. trista left Wendy's the other day, stupid place is a fucking gong show anyway.
FINGER ELEVEN ON THE 13th, and i get to see them for the first time with the most special person, the most beauftul person i know. it'll be a long trip down there, at least i think so since i don't usually get up until around 1230-1ish, we have to be up and possibly on the bus by 9 in the morning to get there at a half decent time. it should be fun and interesting.
oh how times change. it's almost a year and i can't believe how time flies. we've had our up times and thank god they out number the bad times. i love you and always will. you have been there for me through the worst of times, always having my back when everyone else seems to be giving up on me, i love you for that. i know that it seems like i'm a frustrated, over exposed, self possessed asshole sometimes, at least thats what i feel like and you put up with me still, i will never find another person like you and i'm ever grateful that we have each other. 5 LOOOOONG years of friendship and one SHORT year of relationship, the times have changed and the one constant is you. I LOVE YOU BABY.
i think that might be it. i can't really think of anything else to put on here. it's 8:52 in the am. i've been woken by my teeth again... but thats ok, just means i can acctually enjoy a day.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Untitled
I'm breathing in the breakdown
watch as i fall with my eyes shut now.
the tides pull me in every way
taking me further and further away.
i'll scream for help but,
will you answer my calls?
cause in everything else i had
i fucked us up the most
and i'm sorry...
i'm breathing in my own poison
taking the syringe and sticking it in.
my veins are pumping
my diseased blood is flowing through
making me feel the ways i do.
i'll scream out for you but,
will you answer my calls?
cause in everything else i had
i wish i had you back
and i'm sorry...
this is taking everything out of me
i feel so useless, so incomplete
my shell of skin is breaking
leaving the underside exposed.
but my heart is still out on my sleeve
crying out for what i need.
so i'll scream out for you with it but,
will you answer my our calls?
cause in everything else i had
i wish i could relax
and i'm sorry...
i'm breathing in the breakdown
watch me as i fall with my eyes shut now.
the wind pulls me away.
cause i'm falling from our great height
calling out to you but,
will you answer my calls
cause in everything else i had
i just wanted you.
and i'm sorry
watch as i fall with my eyes shut now.
the tides pull me in every way
taking me further and further away.
i'll scream for help but,
will you answer my calls?
cause in everything else i had
i fucked us up the most
and i'm sorry...
i'm breathing in my own poison
taking the syringe and sticking it in.
my veins are pumping
my diseased blood is flowing through
making me feel the ways i do.
i'll scream out for you but,
will you answer my calls?
cause in everything else i had
i wish i had you back
and i'm sorry...
this is taking everything out of me
i feel so useless, so incomplete
my shell of skin is breaking
leaving the underside exposed.
but my heart is still out on my sleeve
crying out for what i need.
so i'll scream out for you with it but,
will you answer my our calls?
cause in everything else i had
i wish i could relax
and i'm sorry...
i'm breathing in the breakdown
watch me as i fall with my eyes shut now.
the wind pulls me away.
cause i'm falling from our great height
calling out to you but,
will you answer my calls
cause in everything else i had
i just wanted you.
and i'm sorry
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