"Me Vs. ME"
i just couldn't be far from you
when everything was going good
it was just another case of me fucking up
cause i ruined every part of you
my frown won't go away
you can only see pain on my face
everything around me just keeps fucking up
and i'm scared for you
i got the feeling that you won't last
that like all the others you'll go
i just couldn't be far from you
then everything was turned around
i broke my own heart
no one can hear me scream,
when i scream inside.
no one can see my fear,
it's buried deep inside.
i feel that old familiar feeling
paranoia creeping into my veins
i know in the end i'll be alone
no one stays for long
my smile won't come back
i've lost my laugh
and my wrists have to deal with the pain
as the shadows creep in
i look up and i see you
crying out for help
i guess this time i really fucked up
cause i forgot about love.
no one can hear me scream,
when i scream inside.
no one can see my fear,
it's buried deep inside,
but i know in the end.
everyone will leave me.
i just couldn't be far from you
when everything was going good
it was just another case of me fucking up
cause i ruined every part of you
Andrew C.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
The Living With the Nothing
*Billy Talent-Surrender*
she reads a book from across the street,
waiting for someone that she'll never meet.
talk over coffee for an hour or two,
she wonders why i'm always in a good mood.
killin' time before she struts her stuff,
she needs support and i've become the crutch.
she'll never know how much she means to me.
i'd play the game but i'm the referee.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender yourself to me.
even though i know what i'm looking for,
she's got a brick wall behind her door.
i'd travel time and confess to her,
but i'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender yourself to me.
i think i found a flower in a field of weeds,
i think i found a flower in a field of weeds.
searching until my hands bleed.
this flower don't belong to me.
this flower don't belong to me.
why could she belong to me?
every word, every thought every sound.
every touch, every smile every frown.
all the pain we've enudure until now.
all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender) has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender)has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender) has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask.
well work has been, well work, i'm not sure if i like it or not. i got to spend some time with steph a while ago, that helped me cool my boots a bit. seems stress comes with everything now a days. not so much that i can't concentrate but just enough to make me wanna flip out, get pissed and forget almost everything. thank god in those times i can do something else to cool down.
i miss you baby, even tho we did have that week, i still miss you.
YESTERDAY WAS THE DAY: Finger Eleven came out with thier 5th album, thats right i said 5th. for those of you who don't know, Finger Eleven was first called "Rainbow Butt Monkeys". they only released one album under that name, "letters from chutney" awesome album from when they guys were younger. the album names under the name Finger Eleven are as follows, in order: Tip, Greyest of Blue Skies, Finger Eleven and finally the new one Then Vs You Vs Me.
i'm a total geek for these guys. they are my favorite band for a reason.
now it's 3:06am i work at 4:00pm and i'm not tired, tho i'm sure i'd be able to fall asleep i think i might just go to alluc.org and watch something.
so night to the one i love. kisses and hugs.
i miss you more with every passing minute.
to those that i know or don't: peace out and much respect.
Andrew C.
she reads a book from across the street,
waiting for someone that she'll never meet.
talk over coffee for an hour or two,
she wonders why i'm always in a good mood.
killin' time before she struts her stuff,
she needs support and i've become the crutch.
she'll never know how much she means to me.
i'd play the game but i'm the referee.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender yourself to me.
even though i know what i'm looking for,
she's got a brick wall behind her door.
i'd travel time and confess to her,
but i'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender yourself to me.
i think i found a flower in a field of weeds,
i think i found a flower in a field of weeds.
searching until my hands bleed.
this flower don't belong to me.
this flower don't belong to me.
why could she belong to me?
every word, every thought every sound.
every touch, every smile every frown.
all the pain we've enudure until now.
all the hope that i lost you have found.
surrender every word, every thought every sound.
surrender every touch, every smile every frown.
surrender all the pain we've endured until now.
surrender all the hope that i lost you have found.
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender) has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender)has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask,
(surrender) has my moment come and passed?
(surrender) i never had the nerve to ask.
well work has been, well work, i'm not sure if i like it or not. i got to spend some time with steph a while ago, that helped me cool my boots a bit. seems stress comes with everything now a days. not so much that i can't concentrate but just enough to make me wanna flip out, get pissed and forget almost everything. thank god in those times i can do something else to cool down.
i miss you baby, even tho we did have that week, i still miss you.
YESTERDAY WAS THE DAY: Finger Eleven came out with thier 5th album, thats right i said 5th. for those of you who don't know, Finger Eleven was first called "Rainbow Butt Monkeys". they only released one album under that name, "letters from chutney" awesome album from when they guys were younger. the album names under the name Finger Eleven are as follows, in order: Tip, Greyest of Blue Skies, Finger Eleven and finally the new one Then Vs You Vs Me.
i'm a total geek for these guys. they are my favorite band for a reason.
now it's 3:06am i work at 4:00pm and i'm not tired, tho i'm sure i'd be able to fall asleep i think i might just go to alluc.org and watch something.
so night to the one i love. kisses and hugs.
i miss you more with every passing minute.
to those that i know or don't: peace out and much respect.
Andrew C.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
lifeless
today you're here
tomorrow you're gone
then after everything
it'll be another month
simplicity has left us
devotion has stayed
i'm feeling so breathless
completely lifeless
in love i'm pained
in pain i see the light
your bright smile
bringing me back to life
today you left me
tomorrow i'll cry again
then after my tears are spent
i'll miss you more then anything
when you're here i'm breathless
with your eyes gazing upon me
i don't feel so lifeless
until you leave again
my sun can sink a million times
my moon can rise a new
but still deep inside
my heart calls out to you
i'm feeling so useless
so completely incomplete
when i know that you must leave me
i miss the times when we could see each other
everyday seen with each other
so needless to say that i love you
but i say it anyway
in wasted memory
i call to my pain
cause in my pain
i see you again
devotion still burning inside me
everything else always behind me
i try to make believe
that without you i can be happy
my smile will fade in time
when you're gone
and return when you call
in this i can be fortunate
but fortune isn't all
my bliss, ignorant
as i fall further into my hole
i become lifeless
breathless after it all
so needless to repeat it
but i do anyway
i love you tomorrow,
today and forever
somethings will never change
Andrew C.
tomorrow you're gone
then after everything
it'll be another month
simplicity has left us
devotion has stayed
i'm feeling so breathless
completely lifeless
in love i'm pained
in pain i see the light
your bright smile
bringing me back to life
today you left me
tomorrow i'll cry again
then after my tears are spent
i'll miss you more then anything
when you're here i'm breathless
with your eyes gazing upon me
i don't feel so lifeless
until you leave again
my sun can sink a million times
my moon can rise a new
but still deep inside
my heart calls out to you
i'm feeling so useless
so completely incomplete
when i know that you must leave me
i miss the times when we could see each other
everyday seen with each other
so needless to say that i love you
but i say it anyway
in wasted memory
i call to my pain
cause in my pain
i see you again
devotion still burning inside me
everything else always behind me
i try to make believe
that without you i can be happy
my smile will fade in time
when you're gone
and return when you call
in this i can be fortunate
but fortune isn't all
my bliss, ignorant
as i fall further into my hole
i become lifeless
breathless after it all
so needless to repeat it
but i do anyway
i love you tomorrow,
today and forever
somethings will never change
Andrew C.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
aaaaaaaaaargh
hmm what to say when everything seems to be going down hill. as the date will tell it's thursday, just last night i found out that one of my best friends life was threatend by someone who should just GO THE FUCK AWAY. where in the fucking world does he think he can get off threatening someone when he has no bearing on whats going on. sean was watching YOUR kid, when you would do nothing and you threaten his life you fucking coward.
unfortunatly i have work today to i don't wanna be pissed off, so i'm gonna go
unfortunatly i have work today to i don't wanna be pissed off, so i'm gonna go
Monday, February 19, 2007
so umm, yea
i must warn you all, i wrote this while depressed....
i could sound selfish
always pulling myself down
i could be broken
so don't touch me
i only break things
deep inside i feel somethings missing
always eluding me at the next turn
it's distracting
knowing that i can't feel the same
with every singgle day i feel weak
i feel wasted and polluted
i won't even speak on the pain i've seen
everyone tells it and it's all the same
different names in place of the ones i love
my fears coming undone
playing scenes that make me cry
from deep inside my twisted mind
don't miss me, i'm done
i could be the next funeral
everyone i love carrying on after me
my name will be remembered
forgotten and faded with time
still deep inside i feel the missing piece
waiting for my last breathe
i'm finding it hard to breathe
knowing that i'll never be the same
so throw me in my coffin
dig my grave deep
burry me with my past loved ones
don't miss me, i'm done
you could say this sounds selfish
as i go off on myself
you say that i'm pathetic
but i know it'll never change
call me all those names
call me what you will
don't miss me, i'm done
and i'm falling away from you
Andrew C.
i could sound selfish
always pulling myself down
i could be broken
so don't touch me
i only break things
deep inside i feel somethings missing
always eluding me at the next turn
it's distracting
knowing that i can't feel the same
with every singgle day i feel weak
i feel wasted and polluted
i won't even speak on the pain i've seen
everyone tells it and it's all the same
different names in place of the ones i love
my fears coming undone
playing scenes that make me cry
from deep inside my twisted mind
don't miss me, i'm done
i could be the next funeral
everyone i love carrying on after me
my name will be remembered
forgotten and faded with time
still deep inside i feel the missing piece
waiting for my last breathe
i'm finding it hard to breathe
knowing that i'll never be the same
so throw me in my coffin
dig my grave deep
burry me with my past loved ones
don't miss me, i'm done
you could say this sounds selfish
as i go off on myself
you say that i'm pathetic
but i know it'll never change
call me all those names
call me what you will
don't miss me, i'm done
and i'm falling away from you
Andrew C.
umm yea... randomness is my name.... lol
well work was fine... not too bad. it's kinda easy....i might enjoy it... anyway i got this in my e-mail today so if you wanna do it.. then it's there to do.
You don't have> >to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. You only> >add the amount once- no matter how many times you've committed the offense. > >Get your calculators ready!!
Have you ever Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who Was next to you--$40
Had sex with someone you met on mySpace -- $25
Had sex for money --$100
Had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Driven drunk -- $20
Gotten drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk --$50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend--$20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex--$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 --$25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Alright, your fine is..??????????????????????????
You don't have> >to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. You only> >add the amount once- no matter how many times you've committed the offense. > >Get your calculators ready!!
Have you ever Smoked pot -- $10
Did acid -- $5
Had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who Was next to you--$40
Had sex with someone you met on mySpace -- $25
Had sex for money --$100
Had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Crossed dressed $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Driven drunk -- $20
Gotten drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk --$50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend--$20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in the wild -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex--$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 --$25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Peed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25
Alright, your fine is..??????????????????????????
blog blah
well today is the first day of the rest of hell.... lol not really i get to work today which is better then sitting on my ass doing nothing.
will let you all know how it goes.
will let you all know how it goes.
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